Withholding information from loved ones?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sarahg7, Oct 27, 2014.

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  1. sarahg7

    sarahg7 Member

    Essentially all I'm asking is if you've withheld seemingly important information whether it is about suicide, self harm, abuse or mental health from family or friends and if you think you've made the right decision by doing so (or not doing so)

    I ask because I've withheld alot of information about suicidal feelings and self harm from my family and a bit from my closest friend.I wanted to see others opinions on the matter.

    I think I've made the right decision by not telling my family as they honestly just don't get it and they used to have very awful views on suicide (not anymore since my aunt but I still remember it being said that it's cowardice to kill yourself)
    Since I "came out" to them with very little info about my self harm and suicidal ideation? It's been humiliating and I don't think I could've coped if they knew more.

    Now on the other hand I've told my therapist something about suicide that I've denied to my closest friend. Mostly on the basis that I don't want her to be affected by my problems as she has her own stuff to deal with and maybe I'm a little conscious about how she'd view me (which is awful because she is not like that). In this case I think I've made the wrong decision but it is what it is.
    So uh thank you for your time.
  2. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I've withheld from family but not from friends.
  3. iamnothere

    iamnothere Member

    I withhold from my family since they don't give a damn anyway. I don't have any friends to withhold from. I do tell me wife, who I am sure promptly tells all her friends so they can have a good old laugh at my expense behind my back.
  4. Hey,

    I've never told everything to anyone. That said.. there's some people you can tell more than others.. a lot of people have too much social stigma or whatever and regardless are incapable of understanding, so there's no point. Some people will have sort of automatic response, like health care workers, if you say certain things they'll lock you up for your own good and all that. Then occasionally you can find someone who you can talk to that you can say (pretty much) anything to.. but as I say, you do have to be careful and kind of feel them out a lot first.

    I have a friend who we talk about it some times, half kidding.. but knowing that we both know what it feels like to be that close to the edge. We've both attempted a number of times. Some might say I'm lucky to still be here, but I'd argue with that one. ;)

    I was in rehab back in about 95, and my roommate and I talked about it a bit.. the staff heard about it and I admitted it (since it was pretty obvious from looking at me that I'd tried - with surgical staples all over the place, if you know what I mean) and they gave me a hard time but I sort of shrugged it off. After I left, a few months later I heard he'd killed himself. I doubt our conversations had any influence, as it was probably just on his mind a lot anyway, but I guess you never know.

    That's about it for now, I guess.

    Take care.
  5. nararabbit

    nararabbit Active Member

    I withheld from my parents completely (didn't want them to worry, 3,000 miles away) and from friends. I shared with my in-laws (MIL is an MFT) and my husband. Of course everyone knew once I attempted and ended up in the hospital...
  6. James1111

    James1111 Member

    I gave hints to people but no one was really interested...... I don't think anyone believed me.

    Then my wife found my leaving/suicide notes.

    I tried to explain that they were a way of getting rid of the thoughts which I believe they were but she was very 'excited'.
  7. PezKraft

    PezKraft Member

    Yes I tend to withhold all such information from everyone, except occasionally a therapist or psychiatrist, if I had (for whatever reasons) built up some trust in them. I was forcefully hospitalized at the age 15, and the experience was very traumatic for me. I was lied to about where I was being taken and why, and when I got there, nothing was explained to me. I then spent two weeks being told how I feel and what I think, and why. Nobody even bothered to ask me questions, and I was spoken to as though I was a criminal or something. I am sure some facilities have much better staff than that, but my experience was horrible. So I live in fear of being treated that way again and tend to hide as much emotion as possible from people who know me. It is better now that I am an adult, because I can call the shots about whether I tell my therapist certain things, and what I tell her, and when. That sense of control makes it easier. But I have never regained trust in my family members. I can logically understand that at the time, years ago back then, that my family members meant well, but it doesn't change my emotions on the matter. Logic/Emotion disconnect.
  8. sarahg7

    sarahg7 Member

    I can't seem to get this to work...
    Anyway thanks lads for taking the time to reply. It really is insightful to see others views? Am I using the right term?
    Take care.
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