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Without A Clue

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by 8ever, May 27, 2008.

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  1. 8ever

    8ever New Member

    Is pretty much how I am facing yet another day. Five and one half years ago I found my wife dangling from the ceiling. She thought Id be better off without her. Thx Baby. At least one of us is. I hope. Not sure what im doing here. I was a member of a suicide forum in the past. Met someone who really helped me get through these past 5 years. I think I burned her out quite badly, and that only makes me feel even worse. I thought I was blessed by meeting her. Not sayin I wasnt but... I miss her like crazy too. 8Never thought id be able to love again but ... it happened. Guess that should be encouraging. Words have alot of power. Thats why im reluctant to enter this forum. Im scared of not getting help here and I am also scared of getting help here. I feel i screwed up quite badly and dont want to continue screwing up anymore. Why should i live my life for other people?
  2. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    Because we all need support sometimes.

    Welcome Back and I hope your life improves.
  3. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I often feel as though I only exist for others as well

    Welcome to the forum
  4. 8ever

    8ever New Member

    ya know i actually think i felt better about this awful mess two years ago. i thought things were supposed to get at least a little it easier over time. i wasnt half the blubbing fool i am today. aside from yourself, people just keep letting me down. and to be honest, i never expected anyone to pick me up in the first place. why do people say things they dont mean. why ??? i was Not looking to be picked up. words have sooo much Power. why dont people realize that. am i so naive and unrealistic in thinking that when someone tells you they will Love You til the end of time, that they will? was i so wrong in not doubting the sincerity of those words? how can someone you meet on a suicide forum just leave you alone, especially given the circumstance behind the meeting? i truly believed i was Blessed, n now im beginning to think ive been Cursed. technology may be the devils best creation yet. next to the spirits ive been drinking of late that is. much like my previous suicide forum buddy, the booze provides temporary relief and if i drink enough, i can almost forget it all. how the devil im supposed to get through the rest of this life ive not a clue. its not as though i want to.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I was saddened to hear of what happened with your wife. I cannot imagine coming home to something such as that. I hope you are able to find support here with us. Please do remember the lessons you have learned from your past experience online. I am sure you can have a positive experience here.
  6. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    welcome to SF.
    im so sorry to hear of your past. Having lost a member of my family in the same way i understand to some degree the trauma it leaves behind.

    i hope you find the support you need here
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :hug:

    i hope you find the help and support you need here:smile:
  8. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    welcome to SF x
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