Is pretty much how I am facing yet another day. Five and one half years ago I found my wife dangling from the ceiling. She thought Id be better off without her. Thx Baby. At least one of us is. I hope. Not sure what im doing here. I was a member of a suicide forum in the past. Met someone who really helped me get through these past 5 years. I think I burned her out quite badly, and that only makes me feel even worse. I thought I was blessed by meeting her. Not sayin I wasnt but... I miss her like crazy too. 8Never thought id be able to love again but ... it happened. Guess that should be encouraging. Words have alot of power. Thats why im reluctant to enter this forum. Im scared of not getting help here and I am also scared of getting help here. I feel i screwed up quite badly and dont want to continue screwing up anymore. Why should i live my life for other people?