without Joe

[ztara]

i lost my best friend on 13 years 2 months ago. His name was Joe Garrard and he shot himself. I spoke to him everyday, he was like a brother. He had been depressed for along time but none really had taken him seriousally about it. I suppose i thought he just had a bleak outlook on things. but since it happened i have lost the will to do anything. Nothing seems to matter anymore, i feel all the friends and closeness i had is gone. Im feeling more and more like Joe felt everyday. Im getting more and more depressed and im so aware of death all the time. I cant feel close to anyone anymomre because im scared they may be gone tomorow, just like my best friend did, the one i thought i could depend on. I dont know if this is the right placce for this or not and i appologys if im mistaken but i can feel myself going to a place im not going to come back from unless i do something. I dont know what anyone can say to this but i needed to say it anyway

thanks

 

[~PinkElephants~]

Firstly welcome to SF and I"m sorry it's under such sad circumstances. I am sorryfor you loss as well, i don't know the pain of losing someone that way but I'm sure he wouldn't want you to suffer like he did. I hope that you find some peace here just not in a negative way. Take care

 

[danni]

Hun i'm sorry for you loss losing someone is very hard on the people they care about, and they take time to get back to where they were, :hug: I hope your friend found peace and is not suffering anymore if you wanna talk more i'm always here to help you out hun :hug: take care hun.

 

[RRRED]

i lost my best friend on 13 years 2 months ago. His name was Joe Garrard and he shot himself. I spoke to him everyday, he was like a brother. He had been depressed for along time but none really had taken him seriousally about it. I suppose i thought he just had a bleak outlook on things. but since it happened i have lost the will to do anything. Nothing seems to matter anymore, i feel all the friends and closeness i had is gone. Im feeling more and more like Joe felt everyday. Im getting more and more depressed and im so aware of death all the time. I cant feel close to anyone anymomre because im scared they may be gone tomorow, just like my best friend did, the one i thought i could depend on. I dont know if this is the right placce for this or not and i appologys if im mistaken but i can feel myself going to a place im not going to come back from unless i do something. I dont know what anyone can say to this but i needed to say it anyway

thanks

Just the fact that you recognize that you're slipping is really nice news. You really need to go talk to your doctor and/or counselor to treat your depression if they believe this is what's paralyzing you. I can relate to everything you're saying there... and to me, you could probably use something to balance yourself out. It's easy to start slipping but if you get to the point where you can't get out of bed, you dodge the phone, you can't pry yourself off the couch, and you seem to accomplish absolutely nothing, then you can't fight this totally alone.

I hope the best for you.

 

[ztara]

thanks, i really apreshiate people listening to me.:smile: Iv gone to new school ( not because of what happened) and things are starting to get a little easyer, iv got a girlfriend now, and while i still find it hard to connect with her, she wants to listen to me, which is really good. i still cant face a counciler, it feels too false, i still find it hard to talk to my friends and even be in thier houses because they hold too many memorys, my own house is the same, ifind it hard to walk about and not get upset....anyway, im rambling, just thought id give you guys an update i suppose.:smile: