Damn it, I still believe I couldn't do it. I can't tell my method, but it's essential to the understanding of history, that you know that is based on reducing the level of blood sugar to unsustainable levels. You should know either that my "substance" was bought in June/2011 when I was pretending to do it already, but I got help in here. It have to be kept on fridge (ain't poisoning) until the expiration (dec/2011) or is valid for 1 month out of fridge. I couldn't keep that in there without any suspicion, so I kept it in my room and prayed to that to still working. I also read that it would lose the efficiency if used out of any of this deadlines, but I did it anyway. I had nothing to lose. I've been here a few times before and I always got stopped, but yesterday (7hours ago, actually - it was dawn) I didn't. I just decided to do it, 'cause it was the most apropriate day to do it, having regard my relatives and what that might cause to them. I was walking round my room from 1am to 2:30am thinking and nearly crying. But then I decided to do it once for all. The very first dose was the most delayed, 'cause you don't kill yourself as if you were frying an egg. The other 9 were just fine. Now I knew that it would take about 30 minutes to me to be gone. I was damn excited so I couldn't sleep, but I layed down listening to musics like in every night. I've read that it might make me hungry, as an answer from my brain to make the blood sugar rise up again. What I didn't read was that'd be like a munchies. I was damn hungry, starving... And we had ordered pizza earlier, so I tought some pieces wouldn't make much difference, since I had A LOT of my "substance". On the way to the kichen I was feeling drunk, 'cause thats what your body do within any overdose - when I took them just to sleep much). I was happy 'cause I was drunk, feeded, drying... Everything was going nicely. Until I woke up. I couldn't believe that, that couldn't be happening. "Maybe it's still making effect, I'll just sleep again" I tought, but it was 4:20 already. It was past that 30 minutes. I was hot and sweating a lot and went back to sleep. 6am I woke up again and accepted my fate. I shouldn't had eat like a pig. Now my substance is gone and I still alive. That feels really like a failure. Now my relatives are talking to me and making fun and they don't even suspect that I tried to kill my self earlier this morning.