I woke up this morning with a plan of how I was going to end my life. I have been considering the options for a while, over a month now, and couldn't decide. I needed one that is fail-proof. When I woke up this morning I knew exactly what I needed to do. It's so easy, I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before. I decided I would do it tonight, I don't have a lot of ends to tie up. I was on my way to my doctors, who I have to see daily, and I was so happy. So much happier then I have been in such a long time. I felt euphoric. Then I thought about a call from my Mum I missed this morning. I thought I'd have to call her before i do it, not to tell her, just to tell her I love her. Then I started thinking about how she and Dad would feel when they were told I had killed myself. There went my good mood. Now i don't know what to do. I want so badly to die, but I cannot bear the guilt and the thought of my parents lives after I have killed myself. I don't know if I can do this to them. I was so happy to think this would all be over tonight, and now I am torn. Do I do what I want, and damn everyone I love to all the pain that I have been feeling, or do I keep on living for them? I just want it all to go away...I just wish something would happen to me, I wish I would die, so I didn't have to make this choice. I am such a coward, I want the easy way out. The death, without the pain to everyone else that my suicide would bring.