Women dating sex-offenders?

Status
Not open for further replies.

Lovecraft

Well-Known Member
#21
I wouldn't have a pedo or rapist anywhere near my kids. Not a hope. Reformed or not, it is too big a thing to be forgotten. If a victim wants to forgive, thats their own business. It doesn't matter if the perpetrator is sorry, or has changed, if they did something before they couldn't stop themselves from doing, its in them and how can they say they won't do it again? That woman is beyond stupid, and now she will be filled with guilt and regret til her dying day. I hope the little girl gets to come home. Horrible story.
Would you date somebody that attempted suicide once when they were 17 or something because they "still have it in them" to up and disappear on you?
 

Butterfly

Sim Addict
Safety & Support
SF Author
SF Supporter
#22
Would you date somebody that attempted suicide once when they were 17 or something because they "still have it in them" to up and disappear on you?
Raping innocent people is in a whole totally different league as someone who attempted suicide is.
 

Butterfly

Sim Addict
Safety & Support
SF Author
SF Supporter
#24
As an act, sure, but the point is people can change. People can no longer be represented accurately by their past.
The difference is, being suicidal is not against the law. Raping people is. That is the difference right there. Whether the sex offender has changed or not, they will always be a rapist.
 

Issaccs

Well-Known Member
#25
While that may be true, it doesn't change that for me the risk my partner might take their own life at some point in the future is significantly less concerning than the thought that some day my partner might rape someone I love.
Sure they could change, hell I'd give a sex offender a job but I wouldn't leave them alone with someone I cared about, tough breaks.
 

Lovecraft

Well-Known Member
#26
The difference is, being suicidal is not against the law.
I dunno about you but where I live suicide is considered a criminal act.

Raping people is. That is the difference right there. Whether the sex offender has changed or not, they will always be a rapist.
I don't see how the logic brought you to that conclusion. Why is a rapist always a rapist, but the suicidal not always suicidal? Shoplifting is illegal but almost everybody's done it at least once when they were a teenager or something. Are they always shoplifters? No - most teenagers grow out of shoplifting. Is somebody that got into a bar brawler forever a violent person? Is it not possible for drug addicts to push through and never use again?
 

justMe7

Well-Known Member
#27
Sexual Assualts and Rapism(two very different things) is like an urge or a thought process. An impulse or desire that brews and either overwhelms or is choicely accepted and acted upon. People can realize this, learn a repect for life and control themselves. There are a variety of reasons for why someone can overcome these issues or simply learn to cope with them.

You guys are off.. bringing someone who is suicidal vs someone who is a rapist and comparing that to re-occourances of the "event" in the future. I'd honestly veer away from comparing the two.. stop comparing the two actually. (im being opinonated but they don't mix) The choice to accept someone into your life who has been suicidal and may be suicidal again is completely different to someone who was a rapist to the possibility of them encountering those urges again and acting upon them. Same generic problem, completely different kettle of fish, and tbh some people are suicidal because they are afraid of the stains that come with it. Some people feel they can't escape suicidal urges, like it will become a part of them forever. Contrast that to your comparison to rapists and no one who commits an act like this can ever be free in your eyes. It's unique...
You have to know the person, and trust that person. If you accept someone who admits to a crime of any sort into your life, that's your personal choice. The GREY lines of when someone says one thing, but is dealing with it completely differently are the issues. If you feel you can't deal or trust someone on those levels, dont let them into your life. Some people know how to own up and face their issues and overcome them. So this bullshit conclusions that you wont accept a "ex-rapist" into your life is your personal choice, not a general fault line that shouldnt be crossed. It's so dodgy, it's generic. Which is fine, but when you dig deeper, becareful. People who fall into impulses arent always the simplistic definitions people put on them. Yes, you commit a crime, part of the responsibility is accepting the rammifications of your actions. Does that mean you can't strive to make a normal life for yourself? No.. but the stain from society and themself stays forever. People learn to get over it and do the best that they can with what they have, and sometimes meet people who are understanding of their situations. It's just unfortunate that this prick has done what he's done.

My point is if you want to talk about people changing and it involves rapists, don't compare it to other things unless they are on the same playing field. It mucks shit up.. but hey to each their own. Did you know I've changed on my attitude towards insects? I used to murder the fuck out of them, but I soon came to understand this wasn't right, but that stain has stuck with me all these years. But in a sense, I've changed, and have been accepted into a group of Entomologist's who are studying wasps. I won't let my impulses to destroy the wasps surface again.
Oh wait I got stung and decided to burn the fucker.
Horrible example, but if you can only talk about rapists urges through some proxy reference like suicide or theft, it distorts everything else. Unless you're talking about someones inability to cope with a situation and they're needing to act or explore a certain level of feelings or impulses. Again though, if you want to accept someone into your life whose crossed these boundaries, its your responsibility to truly get to know that person deep down if youre going to let them near a thing or person that may stimulate those "impulses that they've ""Dealt"" with". The cheapest comparison here is a addictional impulses.
I think it's slightly nieve to think that someone who has commited a crime of this sort will never change. That's just peoples fear of having to get to understand the real reasons and problems and how that person is coping with them. If they are at all. People can over come these problems, but that's difficult. The generic classifications are for our protection, be it from wasting your time trying to see if they have changed. People who get to those areas have a unique perspective on manipulation in my opinon once they get the whiplash from society or people. ... im stopping
Btw im with Issacs. If you've done that sort of crime, I wouldn't leave them alone with someone whom I'd consider to be a potential target to that person. It's just a precaution, not a determination of who that person is.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$70.00
Goal
$255.00
Top