Women, tut tut
- Thread starter ACRon
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I very often wish that I had been born a man. The emotions are just as annoying for you as they are for me. I don't know what I'm feeling half the time and when I do I just wish I could turn it off like you. I wish I could think in a straight line from A to B rather then detouring through the whole alphabet before getting to B.
Not to mention instead of viewing me as a brain I'm viewed and judged first on the quality of my physical appearance (afterall, its all that is keeping us living co-ed right?). If the physical appearance checks in then I am allowed a chance to use my brain to have intellectual conversation. Men are judged first on how well they are at picking out the "hot" girls to oogle, the woman that is their arm trophy or how much alcohol then can consume before they are completely wasted.
Women have a natural defense against men I think. Its not surprising seeing as how men pay some 10's of thousands of us to watch us being abused (porn) and displayed for everything we are worth (looks and sexual actions). With the amount of men that do "leave the women to raise their kids" its no surprise we don't have any trust that guys will do the right thing anymore and imo thats why women subconsiously "gang up" on men. If worse comes to worse we can make way more money being sexual slaves to men, and more often then not we're going to have to raise any kids we decide to have on our own anyway so there really is no reason to hide our emotions and act perfect anymore.
These are just my guesses, I am happily married with no plans on having kids. I still don't think I'll ever trust that my man will stick around even though he has been absolutely wonderful to me our entire life. I've been infused with the mindset that "He can't help it, he's a guy!" and generally been told (and learned) that testosterone makes it impossible to be a decent person in a partnership such as marriage. So I just go through my life in fear that my husband will find a better "piece of ass" and choose that over a long happy loyal marriage with a wife that trys so hard to be perfect.
Not to mention instead of viewing me as a brain I'm viewed and judged first on the quality of my physical appearance (afterall, its all that is keeping us living co-ed right?). If the physical appearance checks in then I am allowed a chance to use my brain to have intellectual conversation. Men are judged first on how well they are at picking out the "hot" girls to oogle, the woman that is their arm trophy or how much alcohol then can consume before they are completely wasted.
Women have a natural defense against men I think. Its not surprising seeing as how men pay some 10's of thousands of us to watch us being abused (porn) and displayed for everything we are worth (looks and sexual actions). With the amount of men that do "leave the women to raise their kids" its no surprise we don't have any trust that guys will do the right thing anymore and imo thats why women subconsiously "gang up" on men. If worse comes to worse we can make way more money being sexual slaves to men, and more often then not we're going to have to raise any kids we decide to have on our own anyway so there really is no reason to hide our emotions and act perfect anymore.
These are just my guesses, I am happily married with no plans on having kids. I still don't think I'll ever trust that my man will stick around even though he has been absolutely wonderful to me our entire life. I've been infused with the mindset that "He can't help it, he's a guy!" and generally been told (and learned) that testosterone makes it impossible to be a decent person in a partnership such as marriage. So I just go through my life in fear that my husband will find a better "piece of ass" and choose that over a long happy loyal marriage with a wife that trys so hard to be perfect.
It must be so depressing to have your physical appearance placed so highly on a mans wish list. Pornography is not the way most men see women, Though it does seep into the subconscience men know that if you treat a girl like that then your gonna get lampooned. Porn is immoral full stop, Im all for exploring your sexual fantasies but encouraging unsafe sex and gang bangs with total strangers is a bad idea. Due to that image bieng what it is women know they can gain a mans interest by acting like a whore, its all good when its not someone you love but I know full well that when a girl you care about behaves like that its like a knife to the heart. But Id be a hypocrite in some sense because I know full well that Ive enjoyed bieng with girls who are in a relationship with someone else. guilty pleasures I know. human sexuality is a cess pit of jaded love I like to call the sewerage works. Most men and women like to dip their toes every now and then wether they admit it or not. But what you have sounds real. If he makes you worry about him finding another peice of ass then thats his fault. He has these worries about you too Im sure
Thank you for your kind words. It really is unfortunate that the worlds views have sunken so deeply into me that I worry and hate and fear so badly that it tears my whole being apart.
He worries about me as well, he has told me as much. The difference though is that for him they are fleeting thoughts that go away as soon as rational thought kicks back in. For me they are obsessions and instead of rational thought working for me it works against me in helping me rationalize how and when it might happen, why or where it might happen. I beleive it is a part of a serious problem I have for which I am seeking therapy.
I think women who play the manipulation game are terrible people. I am sure its unconsious and learned, just like most of the mens actions that I've highlighted. But that doesn't make it right. You have to weed out the bad in yourself every now and then if you want to be able to claim to see and try to solve problems without seeming like a hypocrit. "Bad" has a terrible way of sneaking past our judgement and beleifs and rooting itself inside in the form of lies (convinience lies to ourselves mainly, to rationalize things we do)
People are losing the ability to search themselves for the bad and weed it out though, its becoming a very selfish world and its very difficult to make it if you are the only one in your life who isn't. People choose to join 'em cause you can't beat em. I can't blame em, but I'll do my best not to be that way.
For example, you mention we as humans like "dipping our toes" into places that we really know are wrong. Sure we like it, and we do it because we enjoy it. Then we rationalize our behaviors by calling it "normal" instead of seeing it as it really is. Self-destructive behavior that with a little bit of strenght can be dettered. Why bother calling upon strenght to detter it if we can just see it as normal? Well, the pain that we are causing ourselves and others for starters. But mainly just because we have the ability to do so, and to do so is simply to stay civilized. Animals do what they wish, we are supposed to be above them but we're slowly starting to act like them imo.
I rant alot, I'm sorry. Thank you again for your kind words - and I apologize for my strong opinions that may seem jaded and 'surreal'. I'm not sure how much of my opinions are just because of my illness, maybe if I was normal I wouldn't feel this way.
He worries about me as well, he has told me as much. The difference though is that for him they are fleeting thoughts that go away as soon as rational thought kicks back in. For me they are obsessions and instead of rational thought working for me it works against me in helping me rationalize how and when it might happen, why or where it might happen. I beleive it is a part of a serious problem I have for which I am seeking therapy.
I think women who play the manipulation game are terrible people. I am sure its unconsious and learned, just like most of the mens actions that I've highlighted. But that doesn't make it right. You have to weed out the bad in yourself every now and then if you want to be able to claim to see and try to solve problems without seeming like a hypocrit. "Bad" has a terrible way of sneaking past our judgement and beleifs and rooting itself inside in the form of lies (convinience lies to ourselves mainly, to rationalize things we do)
People are losing the ability to search themselves for the bad and weed it out though, its becoming a very selfish world and its very difficult to make it if you are the only one in your life who isn't. People choose to join 'em cause you can't beat em. I can't blame em, but I'll do my best not to be that way.
For example, you mention we as humans like "dipping our toes" into places that we really know are wrong. Sure we like it, and we do it because we enjoy it. Then we rationalize our behaviors by calling it "normal" instead of seeing it as it really is. Self-destructive behavior that with a little bit of strenght can be dettered. Why bother calling upon strenght to detter it if we can just see it as normal? Well, the pain that we are causing ourselves and others for starters. But mainly just because we have the ability to do so, and to do so is simply to stay civilized. Animals do what they wish, we are supposed to be above them but we're slowly starting to act like them imo.
I rant alot, I'm sorry. Thank you again for your kind words - and I apologize for my strong opinions that may seem jaded and 'surreal'. I'm not sure how much of my opinions are just because of my illness, maybe if I was normal I wouldn't feel this way.
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Im actually quite upset after reading that (go ahead call me a pussy, I don't care). You talk like the girl I chose, While we were together I didn't hear her cries, she knew what was happening to us but my male ego wouldn't let me solve the problem. I didn't know she was my missing peice. she tried so hard with me, she examined me, stalked me, obsessed about my every decision. Its almost as if she was living 'through' me. She didn't need help or therapy she just needed me to understand the depth of her emotions, and for me to feel the same way. I couldn't offer her that at the time so for her own sanity she had to look elsewhere. I don't blame her for that, she tried her best and I love her so much for it. its just what she had to do. It was through that hurt that I started examining her and I realised how much I'd screwed it up. but it was too late. My bad, my fault, my loss and she's now just gone completely off the rails. If I could only of sorted it sooner our relationship could of been 'blessed' and we could of been complete. She hates me these days for messing things up between us. every action has an equal and opposite reaction:smile:
Women are more in tune with their emotions because they trust love more from a younger age. You have to ask yourself though, do you want your fellow as he is now, or do you want to open his eyes to the beauty of who you are and who he really is? If so, what lengths are you willing to go to in order to make what you have a real relationship? you may have to break his comfort zone if the latter is what you want because he probably thinks everythings fine and your just pms'ing or something. But beware, once you open the door for him, anything can happen. I'm sure you know this all too well.
sorry if Im barking up the wrong tree hun, a lot of that was guess work.
:hug:
Women are more in tune with their emotions because they trust love more from a younger age. You have to ask yourself though, do you want your fellow as he is now, or do you want to open his eyes to the beauty of who you are and who he really is? If so, what lengths are you willing to go to in order to make what you have a real relationship? you may have to break his comfort zone if the latter is what you want because he probably thinks everythings fine and your just pms'ing or something. But beware, once you open the door for him, anything can happen. I'm sure you know this all too well.
sorry if Im barking up the wrong tree hun, a lot of that was guess work.
:hug:
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Forgive me if you didn't mean me, I don't quite see where I may have insinuated that etheir gender is more intelligent then the next?
Thank you again for taking the time to tell me about your girl. My husband has just recently completely opened up himself emotionally (about the last year) and we do have very in depth conversations. He knows everything I have already typed, if he read it he would probably know exactly where to fill in the blanks and such. Everytime I feel crazy I will rant to him and every time I add something new that he didn't know yet. Maybe in time he will be able to contribute more in the way of advice. Right now though I am just happy that he is here to listen and try to understand that none of it is his fault.
The problem is that I know much of my problems and so does he, but alas there is no way to stop my head from twisting everything. You know how it feels when you are in pain and you know it isn't rational but it really seems rational... right? Not to mention that just the ranting to him makes me feel ... "uncool" or "a ball and chain". It only works to help me feel worse and less worthy of him.
I'm sorry my post upset you. I hope you will forgive me. Thank you for talking to me and telling me your views, and thank you for encouraging me to talk to my husband instead of telling me to 'get it together' like most do. You really make my feelings feel validated instead of dismissed. Its something not many people do for me and it is extremely appreciated.
Thank you again for taking the time to tell me about your girl. My husband has just recently completely opened up himself emotionally (about the last year) and we do have very in depth conversations. He knows everything I have already typed, if he read it he would probably know exactly where to fill in the blanks and such. Everytime I feel crazy I will rant to him and every time I add something new that he didn't know yet. Maybe in time he will be able to contribute more in the way of advice. Right now though I am just happy that he is here to listen and try to understand that none of it is his fault.
The problem is that I know much of my problems and so does he, but alas there is no way to stop my head from twisting everything. You know how it feels when you are in pain and you know it isn't rational but it really seems rational... right? Not to mention that just the ranting to him makes me feel ... "uncool" or "a ball and chain". It only works to help me feel worse and less worthy of him.
I'm sorry my post upset you. I hope you will forgive me. Thank you for talking to me and telling me your views, and thank you for encouraging me to talk to my husband instead of telling me to 'get it together' like most do. You really make my feelings feel validated instead of dismissed. Its something not many people do for me and it is extremely appreciated.
You really don't need to thank me, you are gracious and kind in your words which says a lot considering my faults. Its a treasure to here you say what you feel and I thank you for it.
Keep talking with him, he sounds like a good listener and just the right guy for what you need. Even if his advice is not forthcoming always for you as and when you need it you have your whole life to slot the other things in place. all those little habits intertwining, magical.
I wish you every joy in the world:smile:
Keep talking with him, he sounds like a good listener and just the right guy for what you need. Even if his advice is not forthcoming always for you as and when you need it you have your whole life to slot the other things in place. all those little habits intertwining, magical.
I wish you every joy in the world:smile:
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