When I meet a new woman who I become interested in, I am always used. Whether they use me for sex or favors, it never fails. Every time I fall in love my heart is broken. Each time is far worse than the previous. After this particular case the pain is unbearable. I work with a woman who I've fallen in love with over the last year and we have a great relationship together. Until yesterday when I learned she was keeping the fact that she had a boyfriend secret from me but not from others. Other people didn't want to tell me about it because of how much they could see that I sincerely cared for this woman. They knew I would be upset and so did she. Why couldn't she tell me? Was she scared of this exact sort of response? I do feel suicidal right now. I have been through this before. I get hurt and I think about suicide for awhile and in time, it passes. I just don't know if I can cut it anymore. This cycle has ravaged my self worth and I don't know how to deal with it anymore. Can anyone help me before my pain gets the best of me?