Wondering why I'm even here....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brknsilence, Nov 20, 2015.

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  1. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I so want to disappear right now from a variety of reasons.... I'm crying again... not bad but still...just don't understand why I'm even alive... just seems like I mess up everything around me and other things.... :'( I'm so exhausted.....
     
  2. Shukhova97

    Shukhova97 New Member

    I get that. I had that last week. It got really bad. But I'm feeling better this week. It sort of has its ups and downs; when it's down it's crippling. I say give it until next week. Maybe next week will be better
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    *hugs* to you. I hope you are feeling somewhat better today. Any idea what triggered this episode of crying? We are all here for you hun.
     
  4. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Just woke up. I'm so exhausted still and my head hurts. Just wish I could sleep. Trying to give today a chance. Just so drained emotionally and physically - I just want sleep.i hope I don't mess up today. Just seems like I keep messing everything up: relationships, management around my home,, friendships, etc.Plus I'm tired of burdening everyone with how I am. Just seems I can't get anything right. When I do, I try hard to hold onto it and end up making another mistake... :( so sorry, I'm always depressed...
     
  5. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    Hold on Olivia, it'll get better, lay in bed for a while if you feel you need to, and try to be as gentle with yourself as you can okay:)
     
  6. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Things aren't better right now as a person on a different website-not this one-started threating me. I'm already ashamed of a few things I have done that has my mind focused on suicide. Just doesn't help with the threats. I'm calling his bluff right now. I'll deal with the consequences if needed. I hate messing up.
     
  7. SteveBy

    SteveBy Active Member

    You're probably being too hard on yourself. Most people, me included, think they mess up all the time, but it's partly because you hold on to the memories of your mistakes, whilst others often quickly forget. Lack of sleep is tough too. I get that quite often. Hard to break the cycle sometimes.
     
  8. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I'm not feeling well.
     
  9. SteveBy

    SteveBy Active Member

    Hang on in there.
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Care to chat to anyone hun? Just PM anyone or me :)
     
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