Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Scully, Feb 14, 2010.

  1. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I'm straight but... I've been with a man for 8 years. Sexually nothing for more than a year. I feel attracted to watching porn... Only lesbians. Not anything else. I wish I could kiss a girl, but I don't know if I would be ready for more. But I'm attracted to some women. Could I be a lesbian? I don't mind personally, but should I tell my partner? I feel a little lost to tell the truth.
  2. Angel_Dawn

    Angel_Dawn Well-Known Member

    You know what hun, nobody can tell you what to do here, sorry. Only you know your own relationship and what's best. I been with a man for the past 8yrs, I love him, but I have a much better sexual relationship without him. I also watch les porn. I am attracted to women, and I would be with a woman, if it were discreet in a minute. I have kissed a woman, and I got burned by her later, be careful! I think its normal to want to explore, especially after 8yrs with the same person. Right now, but yourself something nice, and have fun. Explore what it is you want, and maybe when the time is right you will know what to do. Please feel free to pm me if you wanna chat more about this, I am not overly comfortable talking about sexuality on here, don't want to offend anyone.

  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    one of my sister's friends found she reacted to lesbian porn, and she went through the same thought process as yourself "am i lesbian?".

    what i would say is no, reacting to lesbian porn doesn't necessarily mean you will want to have a relationship other than fucking, with another woman. because a lot of lesbian porn is very much made by men for a certain type of audience that gets turned on by that BS. they tend to be disconnected to their bodies/selves.

    i mean, i can't tell you. like the above poster says, only you know...
    what is it about what you're watching that you're attracted to? because those people are acting, and real life is a lot more messier, and emotions and love can be involved.

    that's not to say there aren't relationships that are without love and affection. they can be empty though.
  4. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I don't know. I live an empty relationship with a man. Maybe that's why too. Feelings and emotions are the problems with me. I'm HSP and too emotional. I tend to avoid people. I bottle up nearly everything I can. Pain and sorrow, but love also. So it's difficult to tell. I had once a very strong feeling for a girl. Nothing happened with her. But it took me a year to get over it. I was 15/16. Lately I see no one out of my partner. I mean I stay at home alone. Maybe it's deeper than just attraction. It's a void of something. Or a problem I have with men. I do.
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I understand all too well about empty relationships. Why are you still with him? Because from my experience, that can really influence your mental health. Once I split from my ex-gf my life and health improved so much, I couldn't believe that "relationship" was ever described as 'healthy' between us.

    You're not too emotional, you have feelings and they aren't being met by your partner at this time. So you will inevitably bottle up because when you present them to your partner, you will feel rejected and your feelings won't be treasured by him.

    Your feelings and emotions aren't a problem, but your relationship with your partner might make you feel they are a problem. Once you're in a relationship where your feelings are met with respect, you might be surprised what effect that could have on your mental health.

    Then again, I don't know your partner and I might be talking the biggest stream of bullshit to you. I hope some of it was helpful. That girl at 15/16 sounds special to you. You could try and remember those feelings if you do fall for someone again.. men or women. Women can be as heartless cold soulless as anyone else too.
  6. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I'll have to think further.
    Thanks for the comments.