Wondering

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Alaskagurl09, Jul 18, 2011.

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  1. Alaskagurl09

    Alaskagurl09 Member

    Has anyone ever felt like all that they are good for is to be used. That is how I feel. All throughout my life men have used for their own pleasure. I can't remember a time that I went more than 6 months between attacks. I just feel like maybe I shouldnt fight it. Maybe I should just imbrace it. Maybe then it wouldnt be so hard. I mean what other options do I have. I feel like the fight is just leaving me and that I am just falling.
     
  2. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    I understand what you are feeling. After 3 years of being my dad's object I gave up on the dream/idea/desire to be part of someone's life. I was and am too afraid that I will be further objectified, abused, and assaulted in ways that will further crush me into a greater feeling of nothingness.

    I don't know what your options are. I can tell you the one I chose which is isolation has kept my body safe, but it has caused my heart to become so neglected and needing of human contact, compassion, and connection that I feel as bad if not worse then I did during those three years. So I also understand the feeling that "the fight is just leaving..."

    I wish I could give you advice, but unfortunately all I am able to do is tell you I understand what you are going through.
     
  3. Jeserai

    Jeserai Well-Known Member

    Jups. Part of me thinks I was made to be abused. All I'm good for, is for men to abuse me.

    Working in therapy on that. Also to make myself less vulnerable and more assertive.
     
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