Im new to this site and i thought i should just get this outta my system. I am 21 years old and my dad died when i was 7. It had been 14 years and it still can't get over it. Everyone seems to think that just because i was 7 when he died it shouldn't affect me this much. I just started dealing with the pain and its too hard. Most of the time i find myself self harming and i hate my self for it. About a month after he died i remember that i started to burst out crying and my mom told me that it had been a month already and to get use to it. I never showed emotion for him since. I know he is still with me...or he was up until i was nine. i remember being home alone and really scared. when i looked up the stairs i seen his spirit. I freaked out and when i relaxed he was gone. It hurts so bad that i can't see him or hug him or kiss him. and i don't remember the last time i hugged him and told him that i loved him. im so mad at myself for it.Im crying now because it hurts. i didn't even kiss him goodbye when he was in the casket because i was a punk. When will this pain end and why can't i just get over it?