Won't let myself

Discussion in 'Midnight Owl' started by Melancholy, Jan 27, 2008.

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  1. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    I used to have a teensy bit of self worth left. But it left me a while ago. Now I don't even deserve sleep. I stay up for as long as I possibly can, thinking about how I deserve to be cold, lonely and absolutely shattered. When I fall asleep absolutely exhausted, for a few hours per couple of days, I have to punish myself, so I cut, deep. How dare I allow myself that luxury of sleep?

    I hate myself so much. What's next to desert me? Food, I expect. Finding it hard to function at school on so little sleep. But I can't do it, I can't let myself sleep, as that would be like admitting to myself that I'm worth it. And, deep down, I know that I'm not.

  2. sophie5121

    sophie5121 Well-Known Member

    i no how u feel :( i dont deserve sleep either :( sometimes i sleep on my floor because i dont deserve to sleep in a bed.. or sometimes i just try not to sleep at all :(
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