Won't survive much longer here...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aloner, Jan 27, 2008.

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  1. aloner

    aloner Active Member

    I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave this place with these horrible people. Yesterday was my birthday and my dad told me I was making everyone miserable when I wasn't even saying anything to anyone. I was just sitting there being quiet like I usually am because when I talk no one listens anyway.

    I told HIM I was sorry after he made me cry in public. I would be happy if I could but I just can't. Not when my family keeps rubbing my face in how dissapointed they are in me. Not when they keep telling me that I'm not ok, not functioning, not "normal." I just need time to get back on my feet but I can't seem to do it fast enough. I'll never ever be good enough.

    They keep pushing me and pushing me and I'm close to the edge already. I'm going to fall off if I don't escape from them.

    If I'm alone I might be ok. These people aren't helping. They make me feel so worthless. They make me feel like nothing. I'm starting to hate them.
     
  2. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that your being made to feel worthless. Please understand that nobody is worthless, that we all have our gifts and talents, if only we are allowed and helped to discover them ! You need to discover yourself, in your own time and not be pushed faster than you are able to cope with, as this in itself will squash you not encourage you. I would be interested to learn why you feel nobody listens to you, this must make you feel very isolated.
     
  3. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Happy birthday! If that's any consolation..family can be the worst.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    hang in there hun :hug:
     
  5. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    Hang in there buddy, things will be OK

    We all go through trouble with our families, they expect so much of us and if we don't match up perfectly with there standards (and pretty much none of us do) then they become dissappointed in us. This is not your problem, its your families. I really don't know the whole story of your life or anything, but either way they just need to accept you for who you are.

    I can't promise that they will ever be able to do that, but if they can't then thats their problem. Don't let your families opinions get to you because most of us have families like that. Just go out and live your life without letting anything hold you back!
     
  6. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    OMG i soo know that feeling, my dad humiliates me in front of my friends, or anyone else. he tells me im worthless, stupid, dumb, im screwed up, im a fuckup, etc.. i just put on a pretend front like im normal because i dont even want to hear it, and i cry easily. i never cry in front of him though, i always walk away and gt to my room before i start crying, because i hate him im not gonna give him the pleasure of seeing me cry. with my dad, its always someone else, and theyre bad not him.hes perfect. and its horrible because it makes me feel bad..hit me up if you wanna talk..
     
  7. aloner

    aloner Active Member

    Thanks guys. It helps to know that I'm not alone. But it makes me kind of sad too, especially when I think that there are people out there who have parents a lot worse than mine. They are just pushing me to be more "successful." I can't help it that their dreams for me are different from the dreams I have for myself. I only want happiness and peace. For me, achieving that would be a real success.

    So...I've thought of a solution to my problem. I'M LEAVING! I'm striking out on my own starting today. It's a little scary because I've never really been 100% on my own and I don't know what will happen.

    Still, I believe in myself even if they don't. Of all the mistakes I've made the best are yet to come! At least from now on I will only be accountable to myself.
     
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