words & actions hurt

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KatyKate, Oct 25, 2010.

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  1. KatyKate

    KatyKate Antiquities Friend

    Why do i try so hard to be there for others when people just seem to keep kicking me when I am down.

    Words and actions of others hurt...and I have been hurt again today, by someone who only seems to show kindness to others

    I have been guilty of being nasty to people on here a few weeks ago...but I was drunk, had no idea what i was saying and in a lot of distress...I would never knowingly or intentionally hurt someone...and yet people still do it me.....why?

    I strive to be a good person, and all I want to do is help and be there for others who have been through/are going through the hurt I am feeling.

    I am already in a dark place, and my suicidal ideation is rearing its ugly head again. Everyone has faults, but true and unselfish friends accept you for what you are, warts and all, and have patience and tolerance when the times are bad, and you are not 100% I never judge others..yet why do people think its ok to judge me???

    I thought I had I found a really good friend on here......???? and I will miss that "friend" a lot despite everything. :missyou:

    People come and go...but true friends are hard to find. One thing I have always been is a good and loyal friend...but whats the point anymore?? :headbang:

    Wish I understood....where I go wrong....fed up of wearing my heart on my sleeve, so that people can easily hurt me. Maybe i'd be better off being by myself...then at least no-one can ever hurt me again...can't take much more!!! :sad: :cry: :depressed :blue:

    The world would be such a better place if everyone was nice to each other and accepted each other for whom that person is...we are moulded by our pasts...and sometimes unfortunately the mould develops cracks which need the love of others to be repaired, but sometimes though the cracks just get wider and people hurt you more.

    When will this all end.......... :hiding:
     
  2. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    Hi kate.

    You will feel better soon. And make other friends.
    Go ahead and talk about your dark place you are in.

    I'm in a dark place too. but together we might reach the light.
     
  3. KatyKate

    KatyKate Antiquities Friend

    Hi Raphael1

    Thank you so much for caring enough to respond to my thread...I was beginning to feel that no-one cares on here (which I know isn't really the case, but when no responds you feel even more alone) so thank you once again.

    What can I say about the dark place that I am in.....I don't want to be here anymore, I can't go on struggling everyday....and it only gets harder to lift myself up. I have lived with my mental health difficulties since I was 25....I can't bear the thought of another 14years of this.

    Its not fair on me...because I don't enjoy living anymore, and certainly isn't fair on those around me who have to suffer this with me. At least if I am gone they will have some peace, and so will I...i am just so tired, and can't see a reason to go on, but i'm scared to try and end my life...I have a whole list of ways I could do it...but what if I fail. I've already suffered one failed attempt in August, and if I try again...I want it to work....I want to be at peace, I want to sleep forever.
    I know it will hurt so many people who know and love me, but its getting so hard to stay, what makes it worse is the time of year....how can i do this when christmas is so near...but i'm dreading christmas...its not a happy time for me and hasn't been for years.
    I'm tired of going through the motions, tired of people, just totally tired of life....what is the point of life anyway.
     
  4. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    There is a way. I know how you feel because i battled with my own mental health issues and was put in hospital for it. Got electroshocked and put on medication. A year later and im only just recovering.

    It is possible that you will find someone that can help lift your burden. The key of survival is thinking in a positive and determined manner. This can be a very challenging thing.But it will get you through hard times.

    What mental health issues do you suffer from? how old are you? Are you working? What is your living arrangements? What do you enjoy? Whats the best day of your life? and your worst? how was your childhood.

    These questions you do not have to answer but it's just for me to get to know you better. And then others can see to.

    I can also share my story if you are interested.

    You have your own purpose to find. But your destiny ahead of you is more great than you think. You are really a strong person because you have been given these challenges.

    Find a way to conquer them and yourself and you will never regret it. It will be the best feeling ever.

    Don't give up because I care. And i will be following you up to see how you are doing and staying in contact. If possible we should have an ongoing discussion about the challenges you face and how we can deal with them.

    There must be some way to cheer you up. Even for the moment. And some way to find the motivation to keep going and make your life better.
     
  5. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    hi kate i think we have some of the same issues here so i hope we can be friends especially with the xmas thing im with you there ive said it on here and people have said theyll talk with me at christmas so youre welcome to talk with me aswell
     
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi Kate,
    I'm sorry you feel left out.. There are so many people here to talk to..You can talk to me anytime.. I'm usually online in the mornings east coast time..You shouldn't feel left out.. Don't worry about what happened with your friend.. Everyone needs to vent.. Even if it is full of anger.. Your better off getting it out..Take Care!!
     
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