i realize now that my faith is to be alone that i may never know love again for my crimes against the one i vowed to be with and protect God has decided this is to be my punishment to see love yet never have it to know love yet never feel it to watch as others are loved. my life has calaspt where i was once happy and able to give others happiness now i suffer alone in dark praying for a light that will not come back to me. for the longest time people have been telling me that there is a calling on my life that the reason for my existence but i know not what that is I’ve ask God for some sort of answer some sort of guidance but no answer i wish to know my propose just once id like to feel my light once again i would give my soul to know joy not just to pretend to the world that i am fine. this world is cruel why does God punish those who take their own life when they are weak and sad they look to him for help but when none comes they believe that he has forgotten them. truly these are my words of sorrow.