Work/ living/ relationships -life ehh?-

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Lorax, Aug 12, 2013.

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  1. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    I'm unemployed right now. Lost my job few weeks back, due to severe depression. Can't quite get my self a new one. I -want- to but.. My sleep schedule, or lack there of, is too messy to have a work schedule. I'm also giving up on controlling mood swings. So it's pretty hard to work. I need a room mate/crash pad. Within 1-2 months. Never had one before, i feel kind of useless that i put it off so long, but that's beside the point. I lost my dog, one of my few remaining "anchors" weeks back. I finally started to let my heart open a little for a girl that wanted to date. Honestly she made me happy.. But out of the blue i haven't heard from her in a week. I kind of shut off ever trusting anyone again, beside the point again. Honestly, i have no clue where to start. I got some stroooong ADD meds, so i may give them another go. I really feel like i want to die. Just looking for "easy" options. I guess if there's a way to cope.. I want to try at least. I'm very very a-social, so room mates scare me. Plus, i have a bad habit of not showing up. How do you explain you have no rent? Bc you were "too sad" my friends are really riding me to get a job.. To move on. But they have never been truly suicidal, or "psyched" so i tune it out. Has anyone had experience here? Any ideas about the girl i was with? I didn't say/do anything out of character. One last thing: has anyone experienced severe insomnia even on meds? Like 5+ hours on zolpidem? Any ideas?
    Gracias, domo, thank you
     
  2. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I would possibly suggest - about the girl - that there could be any number of reasons she hasn't got back to you. Were you chatting on or offline with her? If online, there's a chance real life could have got in the way with other things going on - or maybe she has just simply not had access to internet?

    I can empathise with the job/depression links (I lost mine in April), although I'm working to find any way to get a job. If you give up controlling the mood swings though, you may find it even harder to find one.

    You say you are very anti-social - is there anything that has happened that could have built you up to that? Not showing up wouldn't work in your favour, whether it was with a room-mate/dating or work, should you get another job in the not too distant future. However, if available, could you consider volunteering? It would give you a chance to develop skills you have or acquire newer ones (possibly break down the anti-social barrier you have).

    As for the zolpidem and severe insomnia - I'm sorry but I have no clue on that.
     
  3. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    The girl is someone i met at work. She's super nice, and things were going well for us. But.. Just haven't heard a thing from her. I'm trying not to freak out like i usually do. Just asked if she was ok/ect. But nothing.

    Kind of sad.. But i'm not even surprised in a way. I've developed a pattern in my head that everyone will just ditch me. Which has proven true. So i'm just locking everyone out for the time.

    I know i need to control them. Especially with how urgent job hunting has become. 1 month is my limit. I just can't seem to "stay" long enough to remember to work on it.

    To explain "stay" i'm going through my days, but seldom remembering them. I feel like i'm acting like a vaguely different person through out my day. More so than my usual "high self/ low self"

    The anti social one is tricky.
    The medical stance, it could be linked to psychosis (i'm fairly sure)
    The psychological, it's a strong trait from my mother, to be "shy"
    More personally, i have a hard time knowing how much to share. I open up too much to everyone, and scare them.
    Or it may be from some bad stuff as a kid.

    I need to work unfortunately, so i don't have time to do much else. I was ironically a very good cashier, but that position takes more time to earn. Though it pays more.. hmm.. Though it could be good to switch into something familiar? (I hate change)

    Sleep aids can't mask this seemingly endless "high phase" i have. It's my best guess anyways. I would say manic, but i think that varies in definition, since it hits everyone in it's own way.
     
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