And I really have no fucking idea how I'm going to deal with this till I die all alone. I'm a computer programmer, and it's not that I don't like what I do. If I could just stay at home and do stuff by myself, I'd be a lot happier. Despite my efforts I just don't fit in at work though... and it's so hard especially with language and cultural barriers in my own country. I was born here. I've never lived abroad for an extended period of time so I shouldn't theoretically feel like this at all. But the prospect of having to do this every day after I graduate, until I die, makes me feel like I should just end this mess I don't even know how to get out of, since we're all going to die anyway. Why not now? I'm sure it's a common feeling. How do you guys deal with it?