work tonight, bad thoughts

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by wherethewoozlewasnt, Sep 10, 2011.

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  1. I have to work tonight. I’m not looking forward to it. I haven’t been in since last week when a few minutes before my shift my partner decided to tell me they met someone else. I must have looked like a mess, an elderly man passed me on my way to my post and told me I looked “trashed or stoned”. I feel so isolated now that they’re gone and when I work I’m forced to stare at happy groups of couples and friends which stresses me out. I’m trying to refrain from self harming but it’s an overwhelming feeling of worthlessness lately. I had been expressing that I’ve been having suicidal thoughts lately and that my self-harming was creeping up again to my partner. On one hand I feel like if I had kept my mouth shut about it I might have been more pleasant to talk to and less leavable. Having them around pushed me to do things socially (I’m agoraphobic and have had panic disorder and depression all my life), so now I feel like I’m back to square one, again. And I don’t want to do this anymore. Just had to vent that.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry about your relationship ending, but maybe it will be good to get out of the house and go to work...it is difficult to be with other ppl when you feel like this...is there anyone at work to talk to who you can ask to be attentive to you today, so that you have some support? Hope it goes OK
     
  3. Thanks. Most of the people at my work are new, and I don't interact with them anyways becaue I work in a different part of the building with one other girl and a security team. I'll be talking to strangers mostly so I'll be busy and you're right that it will take my minds off of things. I'm just worried that even being there will bring me back into the same mood as last week.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    if you get bad thoughts hun you can call crisis line for help or go to hospital and talk to crisis team there okay Don't let yourself spiral to far down okay before reaching out this time hugs
     
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