world where i belong?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lost_child, Aug 28, 2007.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    if this world is where I belong
    then why am I looking for an escape?
    if this world is where I belong
    then why does everything go wrong?
    if this world is where I belong
    then why don't i feel any worth?
    if this world is where I belong
    then why do bad things keep happening?
    if this world is where I belong
    then why don't I want to stay?
    if this world is where I belong
    then why do I feel so empty?
    If this world is where I belong
    then why won't something give?
    If this world is where I belong
    then why do I feel alienated?
    If this world is where I belong
    then why does every breath poison me?
    If this world is where I belong
    then why do I feel so lonely?
    If this world is where I belong
    then why is my heart so broken?
    If this world is where I belong
    then why don't i feel I belong?
    If this world is where I belong
    then I know longer want to belong..
     
  2. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    POSS TRIGGER - how can I ever be me, when me is dead.

    When I was younger I used to bang my head against the wall.
    I would climb all other the funiture and fall
    I was covered in bruises, and filled with pain
    but no-one ever knew why I was insane.
    I would destroy everything in my way
    no one could stop me, I didn't obey.
    I would hurt other children and make them cry
    for no apprent reason, and I don't know why
    People called me satans child
    unruly, spitful and wild.
    I had to live up to my name
    I guess it was part of the game
    When father was hitting the others
    I didn't help I just hid under the covers
    He wouldn't hit me, I should have said more
    Then maybe I wouldn't have been he's whore.
    Sent to behaviour school to curb the trouble
    but that didn't work, I was too much off a struggle.
    Expelled from school, I was hard to restrain
    All my life I have been a pain.
    Forced to see a quack for the things in my head
    I was "daddy's" favourite, that's wot she said
    I stormed off and never returned
    I should have stayed and maybe learned.
    Now as an Adult, satans child lives within
    I hate her soo much where to begin.
    Made to feel like an outcast,
    no-one willing to give her a chance
    She grow up thinking it was love
    yet all they were doing was giving her the shove.
    She likes to hurt people, likes to hurt me
    She hates when people look at her and see
    She's crazy, stupid and very stubborn
    Won't let anyone talk or have a turn.
    She's reminds me off the past
    things that were hidden in the blast
    She hates me for what I say
    then gets mad and has to pray
    She prays for forgiveness, for the things she done
    but no-one will listen cause she's so rotton.
    All that happened and that became
    was because she felt it was part of the game
    She and I are dirty, horrible and insane
    this one thing that keeps us the same.
    me and my crazy head are at it again....

    feel so dirty
    I feel so used
    I take dozens of showers
    But it's still no use
    Everything you did
    Everything you said
    Just some rushing back to my head
    I can't say I'm over it
    Cause that's never going to be true
    I have my nights
    Where I cry because of you
    Nothing is the same
    I don't even know who i am
    You took my pride, my joy, and my heart
    You gave me tears
    And a sense of doubt
    I sometimes cry myself to sleep
    Or squeeze a pillow tight
    Just thinking what you did to me
    And how I couldn't put up a fight
    Tears stream down
    As my makeup goes all over
    I feel like a slut
    I feel like a whore
    I feel like it was my fault
    That this happened to me those nights
    That's right it wasn't just once
    It was multiple times
    Multiple times you broke me down
    Multiple times i begged you to stop
    Multiple times that you took my heart
    Because of you I'm not myself
    I changed so much
    And i have a hard time trusting everyone, everything
    I lost the things i loved
    I lost my life
    I will never forgive you
    For taking everything away that i loved
    I'll never forgive you
    For the nights i cried of
    Give me back my heart
    In exchange for the pain
    Give me back my life
    In exchanged for the scars caused by my knife
    I'll never forget those nights
    That caused so much pain
    I'll never for get those nights
    That made me insane
     
  3. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    One Thing That He Said Rang So True...no One Loves Me, Everyone Hates Me, I Won't Be Missed.
     
  4. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    That first post really hits home. PM me anytime. :hug:
     
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