world's biggest loser: me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ripx, Mar 25, 2010.

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  1. Ripx

    Ripx Well-Known Member

    i think that i am truly the world's greatest, most disappointing loser who is still alive (assuming anyone in as bad a state as i am in would have offed themselves a long time ago.)

    lets see,

    I'm 23, lazy, never had a girlfriend, a job, any true friends, any confidence, EVER. still dependent on mommy (who is 54 and not in the best of health) and daddy (58, and though he is built like a machine, i think his disappointment of me might be causing him to kill himself through lack of sleep.) planning on growing and selling marijuana when they are too old to maintain things the way they are (as i see no other means of being able to sustain myself), planning on purchasing a gun in case cops catch wind of my endeavor and doing what i deem appropriate. I spend all my time distracting myself with drugs, video games, and basically entertainment of any kind.

    I don't know what I am to do, I can't be a "normal" person, as my physical condition doesn't permit me to do so. My parents no longer feel sorry for me (not that i want them to) and are now haggling me everyday to just "go to school" and "do something with my life" i wish, believe me, i wish. If i could drive, and see properly, i would have no excuse, and even in my current state, i don't really have much of an excuse, except mental barriers that i cannot overcome. I tried going to a therapist, but they all come to the same conclusions, that somehow sitting in a circle, and talking about my issues will help, WHAT A JOKE. Or popping pills, again, an even greater joke IMO. I am the EPITOME AND PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT OF LOSER, FAILURE, SHAME, AND DISAPPOINTMENT. I am no longer suicidal, at least I can say that, but the shame that i live with is starting to take its toll.

    so yea, i am the world's biggest loser, a real scumbag, the type of person you see on the occasional "see it to believe it" documentary about people.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Instead of all the negative talk try using positive talk to get yourself motivated.
    There are blind people that hold down jobs so you can too. You need to work with your therapist to get well. Meds help therapy help together they are better. You are still young so do what is needed to get you strong so you can move out and live an independant life A life you can be happy about .
     
  3. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug:
     
  4. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    :console:
     
  5. VonBlown

    VonBlown Well-Known Member

    You sound like a younger version of me.

    I'm 45 now, I did work for a while. But also aquired a whole slug of unsolvable medical problems.

    Now I just have to wait day by day till they kill me.

    And I would have done myself in, but I don't have what it takes to get the job done.

    Be glad your still young with some kind of health going for you, things can get a lot worse.
     
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