been off meds since april, been high now maybe im low, or reacting to a chain of stress, dont know which . the only thing that seems to be pushing me onwards is an overwhelming desire to OD and tbh that worries me because ive tried in the past by violent yet clearly incompetent methods. seeing the shrink next week, but havent seen her since 8 months ago and really cant be bothered going. got so many appointments to go to at the minute for physical stuff, sick of drs, so many i forgot 1 this week, which i never do. im looking at the computer which im normally addicted to and nothing inerests me, apart from here today. just want to down tools sorry for bleating.