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Worried About a Friend

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by srhk24, Oct 6, 2010.

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  1. srhk24

    srhk24 Member

    Hi, so one of my good friends is always saying how she wants to kill herself- here's thing thing- she says it as a joke- but I'm worried she might actually be serious. She has this preoccupation with death and talks about killing a lot. Again, she does all this with a comedic air so I can't tell if she is being serious or not. I just wanted to get some advice- should I be worried?
  2. Alonewanderer

    Alonewanderer Active Member

    I had a friend who did the same thing, her BF got angry at her and told her to kill herself, she went right into the kitchen and applied a chef's knife to her wrist.

    Whenever your friend jokes about suicide remind her that she can't do it because who else is going to help you give the middle finger to the world and help you rob a bank lol. Seriously though just remind her she can talk to you about anything she wants to and you'll be there for her.

    (totally kidding about robbing a bank but you get the idea)
  3. Daijou

    Daijou Well-Known Member

    I think you have all the reason to be worried. Joking about things all the time is sort of like a defense mechanism to a lot of people (including myself). They'll use it to try to keep a conversation from getting too serious, especially in a case where it's a subject they'd rather not have people focusing on. If she seems to be thinking of death a lot, more specifically methods of death, then I think that's even more reason to be worried.

    My advice is to just have a talk with her, and let her know you're there if she ever wants to talk about anything. Don't try to pressure her into admitting anything, since there's no way to know absolutely for sure if she's having any suicidal or self-harming thoughts.
  4. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    yeah ive done this too ,i use it as if im easing people into the fact i dont want to be here.
    she sounds like shes calling for help but wont open up.
    maybe tell her youve joined a forum because youre unhappy yourself and try to get her to open up on how she feels
  5. srhk24

    srhk24 Member

    Thanks for the replies guys. I will definitely have a talk with her and let her know that I am here if she needs me.
  6. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Hi srhk24. First, I'd just like to say thank you for caring enough about your friend to make this effort for her. You are a wonderful friend.

    Like the others who have replied, I too use humour as a guard and often joke about dying and suicide, sometimes to get people's reaction to it, which sounds like what your friend is doing. It sounds to me like she's very serious, but doesn't know how to actually talk about it.

    I think you need to speak to her about this, but try not to push it too far if she's not comfortable. As Daijou suggests, just let her know that you're there for her, that you will always listen to her and take her seriously (that's very important - she won't talk if she thinks you'll laugh it off), and that you're willing to help her anyway you can.

    Please let us know how things go, and if you need any advice or help just let us know.

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