Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by andyc68, Feb 11, 2009.

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  1. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    my son has started to self harm, needless to say i am worried
  2. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    oh andy :hug: how sever is it? can you talk to him do you think?
    dont make him out to be a villan in it, have it like a general conversation like "oh your doing that...why?" but maybe not as blunt. how old is he hun? :hug: here if you need to talk
  3. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    he is 10, 10 ffs, and he is biting himself.
    i know its minor but these things progress, i have got him here with me for the next few days and i will see if he will talk to me but he has behaoural probs so i wont push him.
    he always know i am here to talk to.
  4. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    Andy, I've met him. Do you know why he does it? You know what it is like, to feel so bad you feel the need to do that. Talk to him, be his friend, spend some quality time with him, he is a middle child, and only boy, and it probably feels like the other two get much more attension.
  5. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member


    as long as he knows you are there and that you can make it easy for him to talk about anything then hopefully he will be able to open up, let you in and you both together can work on the root cause
  6. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    its anger and his way of dealing with it, been to hosp appt and told them, got a bit angry and now they gonna test him again for ADHD, tossers !!!!
  7. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    look at this way, at least they are doing something rather than letting it lie
    i know adhd isnt what you want for him but hopefully ruling it out is better than not knowing
  8. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    :hug: hun, you may be his friend, as well as his dad, but it genuinely doesnt mean hes goign to talk to you, i think theres always a wall between parents and children, and if you have managed to bring do that wall, i admire you so much for it.

    do teh adhd test hun, its better than nothing, chances are he doesnt have it so they'll have to look at a different aspect :hug: here for you
  9. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i have had chris staying with me for past 2 days and he has been such a joy, no problems and he even folded his pj's in the morning without being asked.
    i had a small chat with him but he wasn't very forth coming but thats ok, i didnt want to put too much empathasis on the self harming but i made sure he knows he can talk to me.
    has been strange seeing him off to school and waiting for him to come home, for the first time in years it feels like i am a real dad.

    thank you all for your concern
  10. mmm28

    mmm28 Member

    i'm so sorry to hear that, but it sounds like he's got a great support system in you since you care about him so much. i recently came out to my mom & knowing she was there for me was the best thing i could have asked for. i hope your situation gets better!
  11. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    andy. i didn't see this until now. i have kids. i know where you are at. sounds like you are spot-on at being a great dad...and letting him know you are there yet not pressuring him...i think is the best you can do.
    my 16 yr old has an ocd. but she won't acknowledge it to me. i've tried to get her therapy...but refuses... in the states...they won't treat them that age unless they consent to it ((((in severe suicidal cases...maybe different)))

    i think ((hey i'm not wise but this is my 2 cents..)) that kids mostly want to be heard. and validated. and you are doing that.
    you're great. the best xxxxxx
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