I finally admitted that the only reason I am still alive is that I don't want to make two people in my life angry at me for killing myself. That though seems hardly like a very good reason to live though. They are not people that will even be around for a long time. I just don't want them to be mad at me. It's such a pattern in my life, I suffer to no end just so other people don't feel bad. I feel trapped and hopeless.