Worse than tattoo's (Warning: may be triggering.. idk)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Puck, Mar 10, 2012.

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  1. Puck

    Puck Active Member

    I've just recently started cutting again (keeps me from doing something worse)..

    ..but its getting out of control. i'm having a hard time stopping.
    in the last 2 weeks i've covered myself in "marks". tonight i decided to count them (maybe that wasn't a good idea).. in 2 weeks i have amounted (if counted correctly) over 870 "marks".. it feels like a slow suicide.. and its worrying me. It hurts to move (though the pain is comforting). i like being hugged for multiple reasons.. 1. Hugs always feel nice. 2. it reopens my "marks". 3. It lets me re-live the pain.. This isn't good and i'm starting to fear i won't wake up one of these morning.

    People say.. "once you get a tattoo you have to get more and more".. .. this is worse..
  2. Puck

    Puck Active Member

    I have to confess.. i find it upsetting that i'm honestly asking for advice and getting none.. :(
  3. daisyhope

    daisyhope Active Member

    Im not really sure how u can stop.. ive tried and dont really have it in me to succeed. However there are other less hurtful forms of dealing with upsetting emotions or situations. First thou u probably need to work out what purpose self harm serves you... does it numb what your feeling, help to to cope or control what your feeling or the situation, is it in punishment for something you think you've done? Let me know either her or in private message (PM) and ill try suggest some alternatives.
  4. Puck

    Puck Active Member

    its about balance.. its like external pain helps to lessen the internal pain. (thank you for posting) :s
  5. daisyhope

    daisyhope Active Member

    ok, that honeslty makes sense :) You're needing an outlet for the internal pain... so why not try holding onto an ice cube...it actually does hurt and is way easier to clean up.
    you could try giving yourself a time period like 10 minutes to wait each time you wanna hurt yourself, and then try for another 10 minutes- see how long you can go. ( if you really wanna make it work you'll find things to pass the time) You could take a cold shower, go for a run.

    check out this page -> Distractions : http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?37562-distractions maybe write down a few that you think will help or would be willing to do and put them with the stuff u use to hurt urself with.
  6. Puck

    Puck Active Member

    i'm working on those techniques. the ice.. not working so well. the thick rubberband bracelet.. working a bit. But i think the difficulty is in the lack of blood. does that make sense?
  7. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    I used to find that the ice cube worked best when I held it against my wrist rather than my palm (hurts more, so distracts me better).

    The blood thing, however, does make sense. Do you have any hobbies that may work as a distraction? Writing, drawing, cooking? Or even just going for a nice, long walk?
  8. Puck

    Puck Active Member

    videogames were my hobby.. Now its an object of pain. I can't jog (due to hip problems) or walk much for that matter. cooking.. .. its a waste of food (if its not going to get eaten). i'm honestly trying... and know there are things that could distract me.. I just have a hard time seeing them.. :(

    i'm sorry if I seem to be difficult.. today is one of those "darker days" for me..
  9. limpet_21

    limpet_21 New Member

    Dont know if this will help with the blood thing but why not try putting red food colouring into ice cube trays with water n then when ur holding the ice it will melt and run red signifying "Blood"
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