worse year of my life. wishing I wasn't borned

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mouser74, Nov 18, 2010.

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  1. Mouser74

    Mouser74 New Member

    This year has been the most terrible year ever in my life. I got married and going through a divorce in the same year. Still dealing with the scars of her attacking me twice (even stayed a week in the hospital because I tried to kill myself). I met this girl on halloween and clicked hard with her and her with me but now she wants to casual date. I've been real heavy with her on the phone and don't know if she even wants to bother with me, and on top of all that I have to live with the fact that due to a very stupid decision I made 10 years ago I'm going through all of this. I wish I wasn't borned and I'm feeling like I want out of this life. Please help me to end this. Thanks.
  2. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Can you tell us more about the situation?
    What happened 10 years ago?
    How did you get married and divorced in the same year (this year?) Had you known your wife long? How long is it since you were actually divorced? How long did the marriage last?
    I presume it was an abusive (to you) marriage from the start?
    Is the girl you met at Halloween someone new? Are you saying that you're upset because she only wants to date casually? (You've only known her for 18 days?)
    Are you on any medication and have you had past mental health problems?
    Sorry for all the questions but I'm a bit confused by your post.
  3. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    hi mouser, welcome to the site first of all! :)
    i agree a little more about your history would be helpful. you said the girl and you both clicked so what makes you think thats shes not into you if she wants a date. casual doesnt nessesarily mean something bad. maybe she just doesnt want to rush into anything. i was on casual dates even though i liked the guy. and well since you only met her on halloween she might just want to take things easy. in case that is your concern.
    let us know alittle more so we can help you further
  4. Mouser74

    Mouser74 New Member

    10 years ago I got married to a dutch woman for over 5 years and lived in the netherlands. I cheated on her which was the worst decision I've ever made. I could of been a father if I never did that. Due to a series of events I got deported back to the US. Fast forward to this year I got married again, real quick. I was happy but I did some lying to her which hurt the marriage. At the end she attacked me twice. I then met a girl on halloween and we fell for each other hard and quick, and now she wants to casual date other guys and me other girls. I would agree that its to slow things down. I thought that last night I killed any chance of even dating her, but she doesnt any hut feelings. I feel lost.
  5. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Okay, first of all, you need to put the past behind you. There's nothing that you can do about it now so no point in thinking about it. Actually there is one thing you can do and that's learn from the mistake.
    You seem to be in a huge hurry to be in a relationship - why is that?
    You also appear to have rushed into your marriage this year. Since you were happy in your marriage, why did you lie? Surely you must have realised it would cause damage to the relationship? What did you lie about?
    Now you're wanting to rush right into another relationship with someone you've only known for a few days. Does that seem sensible to you?
    You need to sit down and ask yourself a few questions about why you're so determined to be in a relationship and why any relationship will do. You should never rush into a relationship, you need to take time to make sure that you're suited to each other and can go through the bad times together.
    What is making you so insecure that you need another person before you can feel complete?
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Remember that marriage is a very serious commitment. Getting married to someone that you've just met isn't a smart idea. I hope that the divorce isn't too messy. Maybe casually dating the new girl isn't such a bad idea, considering all that has happened?
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