worst birthday

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rggkjg1, Jan 22, 2009.

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  1. rggkjg1

    rggkjg1 Member

    today was my birthday, and it was the worst one i've ever had. i've finally realized i have nothing, the only thing i have to do is to die. i went to work and cut my arm in the bathroom. i felt nothing. when i tried to cut the wrist side, there was nothing. either the blade was too dull or i wasn't trying hard enough. of course on the other side of my arm i have 3 clear cuts.

    so what if this was my birthday, it's a god damn regular day to the rest of the world. why the hell should i expect today to be any different just because i was born on it. it would have been alot better if i wasn't born at all.
  2. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    :hug: happy birthday rgg!

    im sorry that today wasn't how you wanted it to be.

    my birthday last year i felt the same,
    in fact, everyone forgot about it.

    :hug: im sorry that that had to happen to you
    :hug:happy birthday again
  3. pensive1981

    pensive1981 Well-Known Member

    Well there are some people here that wish you a happy birthday, myself included. Birthdays can be tough when you get to the point that you're on this board - but you've got some friends here who will celebrate with you. :)
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Happy belated birthday.

    I'm sorry you felt so alone on your birthday.

    Every year my birthday is like that too.

    I hope you feel better soon :hug:
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you had such a bad day. Sometimes we have expectations of what our day should be, and when those expectations are not met, we feel devestated. I prefer to forget about my birthday. If I have no expectations, I cannot be hurt when they are not met.
  6. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    It makes you angry when people disappoint you yet again, especially on days like today.

    Did it make you feel better to hurt yourself? I know when I cut myself the pain does not go away, I wish it would, but it doesn't. I know how much it hurts, and I am sorry you are feeling so much pain. It is not fair, and you have every right to be angry.

    I am sorry your birthday sucked. You deserve so much better.


  7. rggkjg1

    rggkjg1 Member

    thank god this day is over. this will be the last birthday i'll ever be alive for.
  8. Mike04

    Mike04 Active Member

    Why put such emphases on your birthday? As you grow older, it becomes just another day that passes. Don't put much thought into it; after all its only a single day.
  9. pensive1981

    pensive1981 Well-Known Member

    It's just a birthday. If you stick around for some more of them, there will be fun ones.
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    My birthday is tomorrow and I'm probably just going out to eat at a buffet. :laugh:
  11. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Happy belated birthday! (Happy birthday Dave)

    Birthdays can be really hard to deal with when you're depressed. my birthday was pretty tough - it was three days after a suicide attempt and another one followed it by four days. We as a society put so much into arbitrarily dates - your birthday, anniversary, valentines,- that we often forget about the importance of dealing with days on individual basis.

    I know that on my birthday I really felt like a failure. But then a couple weeks later I felt really good again. ..Still, it's shitty when you feel like your birthday didn't go over well.

    Sorry to hear :hug:
  12. stinkymouse

    stinkymouse Well-Known Member

    Happy belated birthday too.
    my last birthday back in september was drinking alone depressed and suicdal,without a single phone call or card from family and friends...christmas was the same......i guess we are all in the same shit,thats why we are all here for each other:smile:
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello RGG,
    Happy belated birthday. I just got back to the forum so I know I am late. I quit having birthdays years ago. Like gentlelady said you have no expectations then it doesn't hurt so much. I spent my birthday in the hospital three years in a row. So you see we do understand how you feel. Always here if you need to talk>>~Joseph~
  14. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i am so sorry your birthday was shit... i hope next years is better an that your year is happier for you all round

    sam xx
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