Worst day of my life so far.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by manicmuse12, Apr 4, 2011.

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  1. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    I'm at the deepest point of a very deep hole, i actively looked around for spots that i could go to kill myself today! I checked quite parks, woodland areas and all manor of places where nobody could disturb me! i even wrote them down in a notepad with the times that had fewer people around and how dark it was at night on a % scale and all the things i'd need.
  2. Animosity

    Animosity Forum & Chat Buddy

    :hug: I'm sorry you're feeling so terrible. what's making you feel like it's the worst day of you're life?
  3. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    It's many things rolled into one really! Mainly my girlfriend leaving me. I just cant cope with things anymore, the only time I dont cry is when im sleeping.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is so sad that you are feeling this way...is there a professional you can talk to? Loosing a relationship produces the grief like a death does, and it has to be respected and treated...please know that there are many ppl here who relate to what you have said and are here to support and care for you...wishing you a better tomorrow, J
  5. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    the strange thing is im a strong minded person in general (or was) i dont let anything get me down! but my girlfriend was the love of my life, my one and only! i dont wanna come across like a whimp but this has really turned my whole world upside down, all my plans in life involved her and i planned to get married to her.
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You are not a wimp...you invested a lot in that relationship, found intimacy and caring and she meant the world to you...loosing that is painful, as I said...hope you find that you are worth looking for another and that there will be someone if you are available...maybe this was the rehearsal for a better relationship??? Again, wishing you a better tomorrow...J
  7. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    My condolences, dude. Failed relationships are the worst. I also had a girl I had plans to marry, and she cut everything short. Totally fucked me up for years because it was such a hostile breakup.

    ELLIEANDMONKEY Well-Known Member

    You are not alone. I am in the exact same spot. My boyfriend was the love of my life and he left me in a very cruel manner. Our marriage/children plans...all gone and I feel empty and used. I loved him more than I've ever loved anyone and i miss him so incredibly much.

    I was strong minded as well but this has taken me to the point of no return,

    Hang in there. We can get through this.
  9. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    It really is helpfull knowing people here have been through the same shit i have and understand how i'm feeling! i've cheered up a little since my first post :) thanks guys and girls :) :) :) :) :)
  10. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    my gf dumped me a few days ago after 2 years.. day after annivarsry for no reason. the past week has been a hell if you look at my last post. but instead of looking at those places as spots to kill... look at them as relaxation points. just lay in the field. relax take deep breaths it helps alit
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