It's gotten so bad that I go to the bathroom and do it even when I am at friend's house. The place I feel the safest and have the most support. I ended up talking about it with them...they are such good people...but live 2 hours away...so I can't just go over there on a whim, when I don't need to be alone. They gave me a set of keys to their house...told me I am always welcome, any time, day and night, I don't even have to call before I come over. I just wish I was closer to them.