... me. Really. I'm the worst person in the world. I had it better than anyone else, always. I mean, if you have such a good family, how could it be better? Family does only mean parents, and I would not have like anyone else as a family. People could think I have problems in my family because my parents are divorced, but they are civilized people and I like my father's girlfriend, so, no. I really have the best family you can imagine. And what did I do? ... I did always get myself into trouble ... I was suicidal since I was 7 years old (now: 18, and my parents knew it from years 8-13, then a few times but not much, and then when I was 17. Now they shall believe I'm fine but they don't believe me not matter what I do or say). ... I was a difficult child, stubborn, anorectic (from year 7 to 14), afraid or angry very fast ... I have been ill since I was a young girl, hiding it using my mother being a psychologist thinking everything has to do with trouble at school ... and have been really some kind of disabled when I was 10 and from 12 to now ... my family has been threatened because of me ... they had to care for an ill daughter, and pay for homeschooling Wonder why they still want me. Want nothing but to die. But have to stay cause my mother can't live without me (has no one else) and my father shall be happy with his girlfriend and not grieving for a daughter... There are no reasons I have been like that... Absolutely none... And there have been so many times when I could have died through illness, murder or suicide under more understandable conditions cause now it is better than it has ever been... I hate this girl wanted to completely burn her to death... But have to stay... I feel the flames burning me... I feel the blade in my heart... I feel the bullets in my head... I see a woman who beats a little girl to death both the woman and the girl are me... I see a woman killing the girl over and over again in all different stages of the girl's life.. The violence in me is exploding I hate myself so much... Can't even beat up that little shit of a so-called person for my mother will see it again can't keep sensible then so no one sees what I have done... Have to live on that live of endless hate and violence I can't live.. Hate myself for people being nice to me for I don't earn it... Hate myself even more for every day I live hate myself for my wish to die... just for anything... Write the best grades hate myself even for that for 100% isn't enough and don't earn to be happy... Endless... But probably, that's the right sentence. No. There is no kind of sentence that could be enough.