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worthless...hoping to die

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#1
I went from feeling very calm and emotionless (in a good way) to straight plummeting back down to feeling very down n depressed. I don't see a point in continuing on with this life, I see no point or purpose in my life.

My purpose to life used to be other people, but I lost the feelings for that, no one wants me to make them my purpose... Who would? Its overbearing n seems clingy and I wouldn't want to be with someone like me ever. As a matter of fact, if I was someone else I would completely shred myself and not care. I'm really pathetic and worthless, I have nothing good to offer besides annoyance, anger, and tears. I find myself to be overbearing so I can only imagine what everyone else thinks.

I want to completely isolate myself... I can't keep a man, they all leave n find someone way better and I'm tired of ppl telling me to focus on myself all the time, I'm tired of it and think its a crock of shit.

I can't stand my bestfriend anymore, she has dissenagrated me and also made me feel worthless, I don't even want to be her friend anymore.

I hope to die tomorrow and ease the world of my parasite self
 

ace

Well-Known Member
#2
I know exactly how you feel I've felt and feel the exact same emotions all the time.You do tend to feel that you're living for others and not yourself and the daily struggle and gring becomes all too much.
 
#3
I know how you feel. My entire life revolves around other people, and when they don't need me it's shattering. I've focused three years of energy on my best friend helping him through a bunch of trauma, but he can't do the same for me, and I don't feel like he should even though I wish he would. He just keeps telling me to "Do what I need to do" and focus on myself. I'm sick of it. I just want a hug. Here's a hug for you. *hug*
 

may71

Well-Known Member
#4
I think you are being way too harsh on yourself

I think that you could find lots of people who need and appreciate you right here! I think that you may find that you have lots of good things to offer others. Just that fact that you care about other people is a wonderful (and all too rare) quality.

It also sounds like you are very sensitive too, which is also a very nice quality, but it also makes you vulnerable to negativity from others

I understand the feeling of making others your purpose. For me, the promise of a brighter future down the road for myself was insufficient as a motivator. I know that the sum of suffering in the world is something far greater than anything a particular individual experiences, and the belief that I have the potential to make a positive difference has given me the motivation to struggle against adversity

I think that it's good to balance helping others with doing what is good for you. I think so much to others that it drains you can be bad, and so can being too selfish

I think that things can get better for you if you can connect with the right people, and maybe work out in therapy why you are running into trouble in your relationships

If you're friend makes you feel worthless, then yeah, maybe getting rid of her is best. I've gotten rid of a couple friends along the way, and though it's sad, I think it can be for the best

I have a further insight which I would like to share with you, but I won't offer it unless you are interested

I hope that you can find a way to get through this!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
 
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