Hi, Im 18 years old and kind of in what i think is a screwed up situation. im sure there are worse but i feel hopeless. im a recovering heroin and xanax addict and ive been sober about 40 days from drugs excluding alcohol. I recently moved to a different city with my friend to get away from my drug connnections in my home town. My plan was to find a job and go to school. Me and my friend share a one bed room apartmentt and he is the only person i know in this city. Upon moving down here though he has completly ditched me for his girlfriend (who was the whole reason he moved in the first place, I just thought it would be good for me to tag along). I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder too so I knew moving would be tough. I started drinking heavily once I started to feel anxious and depressed. At first i went to school, but after the first week i stopped. Part of the reason is my anxiety. At this point any social interaction makes me freakout. Another reason is my "friend" is the only one with a car and the school is 2 miles away. He promised to help me but get there when i agreed to move but he failed to come through. I have a bike so its not impossible to get there. But now on top of my amplified anxiety i choose not too go. This has screwed me because now im failing all my classes, past the maximums for missing class and it is too late to withdrawl for a refund. I have stopped my drinking for 4 days as I thought that could have been triggering my thoughts of suicide. I also stopped taking my anti depressants and anti anxiety medication. And I have been having less suicide thoughts since. but now reality has kicked in for the first time in months. I really dont know what to do. I dont know how my parents are going to react with my failure to attempt college. They threw about 2500 dollars into this and are going to lose it all. I think my best form of escape is to kill myself but i want to talk to someone before I do. I like hearing others opinions sometimes, even though im pretty stubborn on my own. I want help but feel helpless.