Worthlessness and Marching Forward

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kilnair, May 3, 2014.

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  1. kilnair

    kilnair Member

    I finding no problem summoning strength to march through each day. Yet each
    day I hate as match as the previous day as well as the next day to come. Yes
    I did try to take my life once, and still bare the scars on my wrist. Certainly not
    a badge of any kind, but as a reminder of my major fuck up. Considering it was
    the one thing I truly wanted.

    I am not very active here, and I certainly have absolute respect for each and
    everyone who is here regularly here trying to struggle through their own trials.
    I am not sure why I am here now. Maybe a moment of weakness. Maybe a
    moment I feel so lowly that the usual strength I pull over myself has dissipated
    expose a moment of weakness. Christ I just want to hear a fucking echo in
    the darkness sometimes. I am just so sick of marching on for others. You
    know oh dear what about the consequences of my actions!!!!

    What about fucking me. So I keep marching on because like holy shit you
    will be devastated by my actions. Why the heck does a single person who
    is little more than a nobody matter to the bigger picture. I am just so very
    tired of this pointless march for what. I feel nothing and do not ever want
    to feel anything. I just want the reaper to calm what is rightfully his.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hear you and i am so sorry you are in such sadness and darkness Just know y ou are not alone ok been walking that line myself for awhile now
    I hope you hear this echo and try to hold on not for them but for YOu I hope you find some supports to pull you out of that hole hugs
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