I finding no problem summoning strength to march through each day. Yet each day I hate as match as the previous day as well as the next day to come. Yes I did try to take my life once, and still bare the scars on my wrist. Certainly not a badge of any kind, but as a reminder of my major fuck up. Considering it was the one thing I truly wanted. I am not very active here, and I certainly have absolute respect for each and everyone who is here regularly here trying to struggle through their own trials. I am not sure why I am here now. Maybe a moment of weakness. Maybe a moment I feel so lowly that the usual strength I pull over myself has dissipated expose a moment of weakness. Christ I just want to hear a fucking echo in the darkness sometimes. I am just so sick of marching on for others. You know oh dear what about the consequences of my actions!!!! What about fucking me. So I keep marching on because like holy shit you will be devastated by my actions. Why the heck does a single person who is little more than a nobody matter to the bigger picture. I am just so very tired of this pointless march for what. I feel nothing and do not ever want to feel anything. I just want the reaper to calm what is rightfully his.