I often wander what I really contribrute. Guess what? NOTHING I have copd among other many physical problems. Which puts many limits to what I can do.My husband is mentaly abusive and a control freak. But I ask myself why leave him no other man will want anything to do with me, plus I feel it would be unfair to start a relationship, so I might as well stay in the hell that I'm in and hope that my illness takes my life faster then slower. My doctors want me to stop smoking but why should I, it will just make life in hell longer. I often ask myself what Have I done in life to be punished in this way. Right now I'm feeling really sorry for myself and why not it's all I have that I can do.