If you have been following my posts in the crisis forum, you will know that I have had a couple of crises, the latest being over Christmas. As I am not necessarily in crisis at this point I thought it more appropriate to post here. Long story short... I have underlying depression and have been medicated for this for numerous years and have reached minor crises on and off, but was able to climb back down with the support of my wife. Well 6 months ago, after 24 years of marriage she decided that she no longer wanted to be married to me, or to be the mother of our 3 children. Needless to say it was a complete shock to me and it precipitated me becoming very suicidal. The police were called my parent intervened and I was sent off to a psych ward for a couple of weeks followed by a couple of weeks of intense therapy. After this I felt that I was slowly recovering and taking each day as it came. There were of course bumps along the way, but I thought I was recovering and I was on different medication. My GP and I discussed that I wanted to come off the meds eventually, so I began cutting back on two of them so that I could be weened off them. ... Then Christmas came... I relapsed... was unable to see outside of my own pain... and my ex decided that it was appropriate to tell me she had moved in with someone else... I had been holding out secret hopes of some form of reconciliation... If you read my other threads you might also see that my ex has a bit of a record of telling me things which she should not... her high point was mocking me for going into a psych ward.... So Christmas came and I relapsed. I made it up until 2nd of Jan then had to take myself off to the emergency department. I was then sent off to a psych hospital where I stayed until I saw two of my kids on the Friday. One look at them told me that they were suffering because of me being in the psych ward. There are choices I made in putting their needs ahead of mine, so on the Monday I discharged myself against doctors orders. Since them I have been back at day therapy and will keep going until Monday of next week when I have to go back to work. My therapist and GP have told me to make small changes in my life, to find time for myself, to realize that my ex is being driven by her own demons and that it has nothing to do with what I have or havent done. Right now, Im back on meds I will provide a list if you want me to. Each day I take as it comes. Im trying to make small changes and to give myself time to grieve properly (something else my therapist tells me to do) So here I am recovering from some very scary moments. Anything you might want to add or ask is welcome.