would anyone be sick to their stomach if this happened?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by justanumber, Sep 20, 2011.

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  1. justanumber

    justanumber Member

    first let me say that i am too cowardly to kill myself right now...i get very anxious and can't do it. i have nothing to look forward to,no family or friends,i am very anxious,i have some physical problems and i know that "happy pills" will never help me. i hope that i die when i fall asleep,but it has not happened yet. i wanted to ask this..if i ever have the courage to end my life,i want to go into a crowded place like walmart or target,xxxxxxxxxxx i hate the world so much,this would be my way to tell the world a big F U! would it make you sick to your stomach? would it psychologically scar you for the rest of your life? look,the chances of me doing that are very slim,but i do not want to live anymore and each day that i am alive and keep suffering,i get more and more upset. i hope you guys can understand where i am coming from.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2011
  2. meme333

    meme333 Well-Known Member

    well I assume something has happened to make you feel that way?...that there is a person or people you would actually like to see you do this? Do you want to make them suffer?
    I'm sure they would because it would be traumatic to view such a thing.
    Problem is that the people that did witness this would not be deserving of such pain. They would probably be strangers without a clue what you are going through.
    Also, chances are, if people or someone has indeed hurt you, for them to see this may not be as traumatic because they are not good people.

    This would hurt the good people and potentially a person in that crowd that may have reached out at some point in your life.

    I don't know if I"m explaining well enough.

    I understand you are hurting. You're alone and nobody is listening.
    Is that right?
    This is a way to be heard?

    I wouldn't want you to do that. In the end you are the one that gets hurt and you are already hurting enough.

    I wish you could come up with some positive fantasies.
    Please don't be offended me saying that.
    I have my own "ideas" sometimes that aren't good but they will only hurt me in the end.
  3. Daijou

    Daijou Well-Known Member

    I know a little where you're coming from. For myself, I also hate a lot of the world; the people in it and how they act towards each other, the way people treat the world, the ugliness of cities and other man-made creations, etc. In spite of how much I hate everything so much of the time, I also know that others see things differently than me a lot of the time. Just because I don't like something doesn't mean I should ruin it for someone that does, no matter how much I dislike them. But that's my way of looking at things.

    As for your question, answering it honestly is a little bit difficult. I could say it wouldn't affect me in any way, and that I've been desensitized by things such as that due to movies, television, etc. But that'd be a lie. If someone were to cause such a scene right before my eyes, I think it'd leave a big impact, whether or not I knew the person it happened to. As for other people that would see it, I can imagine how it may psychologically mess up a small child that may be nearby for the rest of their lives.

    As for your problems, you say that you have physical ones that you know pills/medication can't fix. Have you tried talking with your doctor about whatever those may be to see if there's something that can be done about them?
  4. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    To use another unwitting person to end one's life is an act of unconscionable cruelty. People who deliberately put their death burden on a cop, a train engineer, a truck driver, have no idea the damage they perpetuate into the world. Don't ever use another person as a way to die, and don't force people to carry your burden by deliberately dying in front of them. They have not earned your pain. Keep coming here instead. Talk to people, keep posting in the forums, consider therapy.
  5. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    There no happy pills - that's a myth.

    Junkies would be shooting up prozac.

    xxxxxxxxx- you could give people a placebo and prozac - most would not know the difference - with ecstasy - give 100 people that drug in its pure form at a correct dose - and 100 will smile.

    Meds work for some - ask some here - but for me I've never taken a drug in my life which made me feel as bad as anti depressants. I'd sooner take a real bad xxx - which is insane for anyone depressed to do. It would put most in a psych ward - perhaps for life - wearing pyjamas.

    But as for killing yourself to make people angry or revolted - will not work mate - kids will make sick jokes about it the next day - lowlife would video it and put it on youtube and a million teenagers - and males with nothing better to do - will laugh - mock - joke about suicide and usually start blaming Jews an blacks and gays - and so on. Read the comments on Youtube - you can out a memorial video for a dead child and have some moron mocking it.

    Killing yourself to make people who hate you angry - they won't care - you'll be called a loser even as your coffin winds its way into the church - or a crematorium for some modern non religious gig/ceremony.

    Trying to piss off an ex wife? She will be comforted by some other man as your in the coffin or some hospital ward.

    The only people you hurt are those who love you. Some people actually need to do this - people with depression have to be VERY careful in this regard. We can be cruel - and I'm not talking about depression - you might just be cruel and selfish and happen to get depression also. Not everyone who gets this illness - is caring, kind, fluffy and so on. Some are dangerous, manipulative and cunning.

    Thankfully - they won't last here long - this forum is pretty strict - even I've been warned - but I guess I think rules are like windows - sometimes one gets broken in the enthusiasm!

    But sure - rules is how we co-exist as communities - nations and friends.

    I feel your anger bro - I really do - but you got to direct that anger into something that means something.

    We all need to kill PART of ourselves - no need to kill all of you just because - well - a part of you is not quite the ticket to happiness!

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2011
  6. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    To answer the question presented in this post -> I would feel sick to my stomach if something like what you describe happened in that circumstance. But as a person in a somewhat fragile state of mind, my emotions would be intensified and confusing, I think. Sort of like the feeling after watching the details of a tragedy come out on the local news channel.. that feeling times 1000.
  7. justanumber

    justanumber Member

    i need to explain my feelings a little further. i am 30 yrs. old and just 3 1/2 months ago,my mom died from a heart attack and i have no family at all or any friends. i live all alone in an apartment and i have always had anxiety and phobias. i can not get a job because of this and very soon all the money in my bank account will run out. killing myself is my only choice and i hope that i will die soon and not get to make that decision. i hope you can understand my anger towards this horrible world. i am not religious or spiritual and i never wanted to be born. my hyponotherapist tells me that we have an inner being that incarnates a human body and lives life as a teaching lesson. i do not believe in that,there is no lesson or point in my life. to those who have at least some family,killing yourself should be a really tough decision,but for me,i have no decision..killing myself is the only way out and i hope that you guys here can understand.
  8. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    A target or walmart? No. When I go, I'll light myself on fire in protest, outside a church or government office.
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