Would he forgive me if I killed myself? Because I'm coming close to making another attempt. My first attempt consisting of over 100 pills and my mom caught me. I was sent to get my stomach pumped, which was horrible pain, that gay ass hospital would not let me rest ONE BIT! Then I was sent to a psychiatric hospital for a week, after I met the other kids there, my reason was only stronger for killing myself. I never knew girls love drug addicts that much? I don't believe in life, life is just random and stupid to me and has absolutely no fucking point. When I think about dying, I feel all relieved, followed by recurring pain knowing that I'm still alive. I was born into a bad world, in a bad time era, in the wrong place. Whether I am dead or alive, no difference will take place in the world... People always say that, "No one can fill your place when you're gone..." Who the hell cares?! When people walk the streets everyday, they're not thinking, "No one can fill your place when you're gone..." I know I'm young and there's more life ahead of me, but I really could care less now, I lost all my patience and don't have enough backup energy to give me just that little speck of patience to keep going. I'm just a different person in a world of "sames". This world is the most backwards and stupidest fucking place in the void of existence. I'd rather lie in a grave than sit around one more second watching people bathe in what I've worked for all my life. I don't care if I go nowhere when I die, at least that way I won't have to remember who I was. And if I go to hell? Oh well, I'd probably fit better down there than Earth itself. I am invisible and unimportant, I am a hack, and everyday this stuff is just proven more and more to me. So go ahead, enjoy your dumb ass backwards world, enjoy your women falling for and marrying the wrong people, enjoy your white teenage singers that randomly get famous in one day, and enjoy your emo kids (even though that stlye got old a long ass time ago). Enjoy it all, because I won't be here anymore to see it. God could've made multiple planets for humans alike, but he wanted to be funny and combine everything.