An interesting question that I've asked myself over and over. I conclude there's no simple answer. Having made multiple attempts and anticipating more, I pray that my death won't send me to hell. I've heard it preached that suicide is murder and as such the murderer can't enter heaven because no sin may enter heaven.
Jesus was tempted in every way we are. Others mentioned earlier were considered good or great men. Did they all go to hell? I think not.
The conclusion I made long before depression began driving me to suicide six years ago is that a completely rational mind would want to live and anticipate life's pleasures and joys. That leads me to believe that suicidality isn't a rational choice, given the potential for happiness and fulfillment in this life.
I know that I, at least, was not rational when I made attempts. I was deeply depressed, overwhelmed, hopeless, helpless, traumatized (PTSD) and I felt there was no point to living. That doesn't sound to me like a healthy mind at work. But it's how many of us with suicidal ideation are. Irrational.
Was King Saul rational? Perhaps not all of the biblical suicides were irrational. There was a reason for each, surely.
I will celebrate our 36th anniversary this year, if I can hang on that long. I was a minister for 35 years in a conservative church, until depression and suicide shut me down and I retired ten years early with no retirement except SS disability. My 20 year old daughter was assaulted and raped two weeks ago. I know that it would devastate both her and my wife and son if I were to die at my own hand. As others, I rationalize that they will recover in time, and can have a better life without me. Irrational rationalization?
The comfort/assurance that I will go to heaven sustains me and makes me less fearful of death, though I am fearful of living. Yes, God is love and grace and kindness personified, and He is the only one who fully understands our pain. I believe that He's the only one who can judge our hearts, and I believe that, though my problems sadden him, because of his love and grace and forgiveness, I will be welcomed in heaven.
So, I believe in God, and I believe in an afterlife (only two choices - heaven or hell). And I know that because I put my trust in Him, I will go to heaven when I die, regardless whatever mistakes I make and problems I have, they are forgiven through Jesus' love. I wish that it meant that I could be undepressed or want to keep living, but life isn't always that simple.
My own thoughts. You aren't required to agree.
Sorry for going on. I tend to write essays instead of responses.
Jim