I don't exactly have a fullproof method atm but right now I would if I could. I have tried it before but failed. I should have researched the pills better. I will not go back into any kind of hospital. If you have to live like this and know it will never change why not kill yourself? If you will always fight these feelings and always fight against it why not just give in? Since when can a person not choose their own fate? I've been planning it for awhile now. Thinking of various outcomes. For some reason I ended up here tonight. I can't seem to figure out a fullproof way to do it. And then there is that small voice saying what if. I've been thinking that I could try suffocation. If it doesn't work no one find out and I could try again later. I wouldn't get locked up if I don't do it right again. I'm afraid I would panic though and undo the line.