• Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin

would it be so bad to die?

mayo12

Well-Known Member
#1
would it be so bad If I just decided to end it? people would get over it and move on. they will eventually realize that maybe they could not do anything for me, and that they will never be able to find out.
why is it that if I have the chance to do it myself I instead ask to god or the universe or whatever is up there, if there is anything, to just give me a break finally. I know I won't be missed after sometime, and I know for a fact that them moving on will eventually happen.

I know that dying in your sleep by natural causes is much more different than suicide, but still. I just want to stop it. every time I see some brightness I realize that I won't reach it in time.

would it really be so horrible if I finally had a chance to lay down and close my eyes, just a chance to be at peace finally.

I know im empty and numb, and I know im not worth it, I know it. I just wonder if it would really be so bad if I could just lay down, stop breathing, close my eyes and never open them again. is it really so sad and wrong that thinking this makes me feel at peace instead of anything else. I won't be alone with my thoughts anymore and I won't have to deal with myself anymore as well.

I'll be free.

I don't think it would be that bad if I died finally. I think it would be the end and that's okay.
 

Brooklyn94

Well-Known Member
#2
Relatable. But what they tell me is that the people that love you Infact do not get over it, it is a trauma they carry with them forever. The unanswered questions and what ifs are a killer. You are loved and valued. Here for you, anytime xx
 

mayo12

Well-Known Member
#3
Relatable. But what they tell me is that the people that love you Infact do not get over it, it is a trauma they carry with them forever. The unanswered questions and what ifs are a killer. You are loved and valued. Here for you, anytime xx
I can see that. thanks:)
 

SkyTree

Well-Known Member
#4
You're family will always think maybe they could have done something to stop you from doing this. They will blame themselves forever after. That would be a constant torture for them. I know its hard to live but you can't cause them that pain.
 

mayo12

Well-Known Member
#5
You're family will always think maybe they could have done something to stop you from doing this. They will blame themselves forever after. That would be a constant torture for them. I know its hard to live but you can't cause them that pain.
I know, I really don't want hurt them
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#6
i do understand how you feel. sometimes i wish my time would come but i always find the will to survive. if i pass of natural causes my family will be sad for a long time, then eventually accept it as inevitable. but if i were to take my own life it would scar them forever. in hindsight they would see how they could have stopped me and blame themselves forever. your family will not recover i can promise you that. try to keep living and also find a way to make living worth while again. if you want to talk my inbox is there for you. i hope you feel better soon...mike...*hug*console*brohug
 

mayo12

Well-Known Member
#7
i do understand how you feel. sometimes i wish my time would come but i always find the will to survive. if i pass of natural causes my family will be sad for a long time, then eventually accept it as inevitable. but if i were to take my own life it would scar them forever. in hindsight they would see how they could have stopped me and blame themselves forever. your family will not recover i can promise you that. try to keep living and also find a way to make living worth while again. if you want to talk my inbox is there for you. i hope you feel better soon...mike...*hug*console*brohug
thank you dodge, I will take you up on that. thank you for understanding, I really appreciate that. I am currently thinking with more clarity and I know that it permanently stain them. I don't want to ever hurt any of them. thank you very much for understanding.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$180.00
Goal
$255.00
Top