If i was to drop of the face of the earth would it matter, i don't think it would matter to anyone. Not matter to the people i consider 'friends' 'family' i know at least one member of my family who wouldn't give a shit. They'd be glad!! I cause people to hurt without even knowing it until its too late. I'm sick of being the one who has to try and rebuild a bloody friendship, just feels like im getting a load of shit in return and i really can't be fucked with it anymore. Why bother trying to rebuild something if its gonna make it harder in the long run. I can't even trust the one person i feel happy with because i fear being hurt by him. Like someone said its a long time to wait for just one thing. I fear getting hurt by everyone here. Some people i get really paranoid about what they truely want. I get used alot and im too much of a twat to say anything. I just don't say anything and just try and forget it but it drives me flipping crazy inside. What do the people in my life really want from me!!! Urgh i feel like doing something right now, something irreversable!