Would it really be that bad if i did it...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kairo, Apr 1, 2013.

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  1. Kairo

    Kairo Well-Known Member

    I always promised myself I wouldn’t go through with suicide, because of the burden it would place on the people I left behind. Now, I have come to realize I really have no one that would miss me.

    I don’t think I’m kidding myself, when I say that. I have though long and hard about it, and I really think that there is no one who would be too pained at my departure. To be precise, there are 2 people who might suffer, but not much, and they may not even find out about it.

    That being said...why should I even hold back...would it be that bad?
    I think of it as a mercy killing at this point...as sick as it sounds.

    I just don’t understand what I’m living for, and why I should even try. Why should i be so arrogant to think that my life has any value? Or importance...
    Or that me being alive or dead would make ANY difference at all. It would only make a difference in myself, and it would give me relief...

    I hate this..I really, really do.
     
  2. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I wish I could give you better advice... however I feel the exact same way you do. I am just waiting for the one being that would notice my death to die off.

    Sometime last year I learned that you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. If you are constantly putting others before you, life will be hard. However, if you make sure you are content before you make other content then you will be much better off.
     
  3. Kairo

    Kairo Well-Known Member

    I feel the opposite, I guess.. I feel like it would be easier if I had people to put before myself. I don't know how to deal with myself well enough to put myself first.
    I was only happy if I could help my friend.
     
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    I think helping others makes everyone feel better. Helping ourselves can seem pointless. I need others in my life too help me. I can't do it alone. There's been no one in my life for years I've been able to tell how I feel. Doing that here, reading the posts of others has really helped me.
     
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