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Would money prevent your suicide?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by bluegrey, Oct 24, 2009.

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  1. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    I have lived all my life on Long Island with my circumstances never rising above lower middle class and at times the poverty line. Long Island is a paradox, by bicycle I can travel through some of the most mind blowingly affluent neighborhoods to the most terrifying, rundown, gang infested, crime ridden ones.

    I am a survivor of an extremely violent and chaotic upbringing. My nerves are raw almost at all times and I battle depression and OCD just by being awake. I am back at 42 living with my violent Father who just a few days ago hit me twice in the throat after we had a disagreement. My days of fistfights with him are long over, I don't have it in me to hit him back. He is a Neaderthal in his own hateful bigoted world and despite this I love him dearly because I know he is mentally ill.

    My Mother is schizoid affective and living in subsidized housing in one of LI's worst towns. I live with pains in my chest worried over her being a victim of crime, she is so vulnerable. My Brother, a former US Marine now an alcoholic mess is "living" near her in a friend's car. He gets picked up for day labor jobs and stops in at my Mother's apartment to take showers, clean his clothes and catch up on sleep. He has been mugged several times, the most recent with a teenager with a bandanna over his face pointing an automatic pistol at him.

    All of my opportunities to live on my own or with friends over the years always eventually fell apart because of our lack of money. The "affordable" living situations I have been in always included the usual stresses of cramped quarters, vermin/insect infestation, oppressive odors/noise and neighborhoods with a strong criminal activity presence. Add the stress of having virtually no disposable income after paying rent and living rent free with my Father in a reasonable neighborhood becomes almost involuntary.

    Housing subsidized through mental health organizations requires you to live with one to three (even over a dozen in a Community Residence) other psychiatric patients. I experienced this briefly and lived with some people who had no concept of boundries/extreme notions of entitlement, a person who had wild, violent behavior and a person who liked to "borrow" from people without their knowledge. I am trying to get back to this type of housing with ONLY a longtime friend and fellow sufferer of depression and OCD as my roommate but our efforts have made little progress.

    I am not able to work (formally at least) at a salaried job with it's pressures and set hours but if I had middle class income I could place my Mother and Brother in an apartment in a reasonable neighborhood, have a mortgage on a modest house, be married to my girlfriend, drive a reliable little Asian car, basketball hoop in the driveway, have a dog and a cat and so on.

    Money would enable me to add tremendously to the quality of my own and loved ones lives.
  2. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    no. not at all.
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I wonder if perhaps it is time to say goodbye to Long Island. There are places all over the US where you can find good living for relatively little money.

    As for me, it wouldn't change much. It was admittedly a relief when I found enough money to survive a few months longer, but now that I've got the money to live to ~April, I'm still planning to do it in December.
  4. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I like to think it would, because I would throw money at a lot of my problems, but somehow I doubt that'd actually work.
  5. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Money has a big impact on the quality of our living situation, but no matter what the situation, the mental illness is still there.

    I feel your desire to house your mom and brother somewhere safe.

    I lived in a travel trailer in an rv park for 6 years and it was very healing for me. I lived in the forest, on the coast, and I worked part time. I didn't have much money but the basic needs were met.

    There were many other people there that had SSI or worked part time. We made for a nice little community.

  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    While money can relieve many of the problems some of us are faced with, it also brings with it a different set of problems. No matter how much you have, it never seems to be enough. Some of the most happy people I know are the ones with very little monetary wealth. So, no, I don't think it would prevent it.
  7. depleted_soul

    depleted_soul Well-Known Member

    I don't think it would prevent it, maybe postpone it a little. Even when I had money I was severely depressed and wanted to die. Right now because of no money or job I've lost everything so I'm pretty sure my suicide will be within the next few days. There's just no reason for me to even try anymore. I always fail anyway.
  8. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    It definitely wouldn't fix anything for me.
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Sure it would help take care of the necessities but it still wouldn't help with the mental illness..
  10. Menchi

    Menchi Well-Known Member

    It would remove some of the stressing factors which can exhasberate those feelings (stress at work, worrying over having enough to spend on food for the month, and in my case, for one or two other reasons which i wont go in to)... and probably make it easier to manage those feelings, and try and deal with them, because of having more time perhaps to think on them, instead of other stressing factors.

    It certainly wouldn't solve things! But it might make things easier, and make coming to a point where i can challenge all those feelings, all those negative thoughts, quicker and less painfully.
  11. Ranxerox

    Ranxerox Well-Known Member

    Money cant make people like me or want to be around me or include me, it cannot make me more competent or confidant in myself, and it wont fix my low self esteem. It cannot change the fact that i am an idiot, and it wont make me succesful in life. Material things are a poor substitute for love and acceptance, which cannot be bought. At best i could fix the flaws in my physical appearance, but i cannot use it to change myself mentally.
  12. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Hmm it might help me in the living aspect of my life but I doubt it would fix the pain inside of me.

    Money can only change so much.
  13. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    money could have solved my problems several years ago when I was healthy and just needed money, now no money in the world could make me happy, just make me less crazy

    I also grew up on Long Island and left a few years ago, wish I never left, Long Island is a great place, though it is extremely expensive and not a good place to live if you are struggling financially

    if you are healthy, I would say get out of Long Island, you can live better and cheaper in about 95% of the rest of america
  14. raincloud

    raincloud Well-Known Member

    Having money would certainly delay the process. Poverty is my biggest problem and biggest frustration right now. I have lived in poverty for almost six years and because of that I have not been able to properly address either my chronic depression (which I've had since childhood --and I was a rich kid) or my health issues.
  15. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    Money would help to have adecent life. I mean ,poverty is definitely aggravating things. It's not the key though.
  16. J_Oli3

    J_Oli3 Well-Known Member

    Erm, well in the long run it wouldn't.
    I would spend it on things that would ultimately be terrible for me, but would provide short-term happiness. Bad things! :laugh:
  17. nobodyandeverybody

    nobodyandeverybody Active Member

    i'm not really sure about that i think that it might for a little while maybe it could who's to say
  18. ProjectRainbow

    ProjectRainbow Banned Member

    Its a sad truth of the world but it has to be said, money is everything.

    There is nothing it cant intensify, accentuate or aid.

    Im sure Bill Gates cries himself to sleep every night.

    Most dont like admitting it, but thats just the politics of denial.
  19. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    It would solve a lot of problems, yes, but it wouldn't solve everything.
  20. jacknife

    jacknife Guest

    Wealth can be psychologically rewarding for a person, but this is more often the case when one has actually worked honestly, diligently, and passionately to earn it on their own. Many wealthy people feel undeserving of their high income, and may feel unchallenged, depressed, and demotivated. Children of highly successful and wealthy parents are notoriously conflicted, struggling to find self-worth and independence in the shadow of their elders.

    In my opinion, it's most satisfying to start from the bottom and work your way up from there.
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