I have lived all my life on Long Island with my circumstances never rising above lower middle class and at times the poverty line. Long Island is a paradox, by bicycle I can travel through some of the most mind blowingly affluent neighborhoods to the most terrifying, rundown, gang infested, crime ridden ones. I am a survivor of an extremely violent and chaotic upbringing. My nerves are raw almost at all times and I battle depression and OCD just by being awake. I am back at 42 living with my violent Father who just a few days ago hit me twice in the throat after we had a disagreement. My days of fistfights with him are long over, I don't have it in me to hit him back. He is a Neaderthal in his own hateful bigoted world and despite this I love him dearly because I know he is mentally ill. My Mother is schizoid affective and living in subsidized housing in one of LI's worst towns. I live with pains in my chest worried over her being a victim of crime, she is so vulnerable. My Brother, a former US Marine now an alcoholic mess is "living" near her in a friend's car. He gets picked up for day labor jobs and stops in at my Mother's apartment to take showers, clean his clothes and catch up on sleep. He has been mugged several times, the most recent with a teenager with a bandanna over his face pointing an automatic pistol at him. All of my opportunities to live on my own or with friends over the years always eventually fell apart because of our lack of money. The "affordable" living situations I have been in always included the usual stresses of cramped quarters, vermin/insect infestation, oppressive odors/noise and neighborhoods with a strong criminal activity presence. Add the stress of having virtually no disposable income after paying rent and living rent free with my Father in a reasonable neighborhood becomes almost involuntary. Housing subsidized through mental health organizations requires you to live with one to three (even over a dozen in a Community Residence) other psychiatric patients. I experienced this briefly and lived with some people who had no concept of boundries/extreme notions of entitlement, a person who had wild, violent behavior and a person who liked to "borrow" from people without their knowledge. I am trying to get back to this type of housing with ONLY a longtime friend and fellow sufferer of depression and OCD as my roommate but our efforts have made little progress. I am not able to work (formally at least) at a salaried job with it's pressures and set hours but if I had middle class income I could place my Mother and Brother in an apartment in a reasonable neighborhood, have a mortgage on a modest house, be married to my girlfriend, drive a reliable little Asian car, basketball hoop in the driveway, have a dog and a cat and so on. Money would enable me to add tremendously to the quality of my own and loved ones lives.