Would my death really make such a difference?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kunera, Jan 24, 2010.

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  1. Kunera

    Kunera Well-Known Member

    I can't see my death really making a huge impact on the world. Sure, my friends and family would suffer for a while, but those feelings pass. They always pass, whether you think they will or not. Time will heal those wounds, and life will go on for everyone else, as usual.

    I can't say I do much, as I see no particular reason to. I'm 17, kind of a loser, spending most of my time either doing schoolwork, or moping around. Things really don't look too bad, but I still feel terrible, and I just find it hard to believe that I have much more of a reason to live.

    Very few people would miss me, and I'm sure even less would even notice the fact that I was gone. Even then, with time, things would go back to normal for them, whether they'd admit it or not.

    I won't lie, there's two reasons that I'm still here. First, I don't have an efficient method of suicide worked up, and second, I'm kind of afraid of what's on the other side. I'm not too religious, but even if the other side entails going to Hell, or absolute nothingness, I can't help but hesitate, as it's one thing I can truly consider the unknown to me.

    So now, all I do is fantasize about it, and wonder if life without me would truly be so tragic, when I haven't really made a positive impact on the world anyways.
     
  2. SelfMadePrison

    SelfMadePrison Banned Member

    I will say from experience that having a family member committing suicide you never ever get over the pain.. it is life lasting, completely life changing for everyone and it can never be undone.. not only does it effect family and friends, but it affects their friends as well that did not know you, so yes you taking your life changes the world forever from that point forward, you are that profound of a person, that important! I would much prefer that you make an impact in the life you live and leave a legacy that is good rather then a trail of brokeness and distress.

    Only each individual can lay out their own purpose, what makes you get up in the morning (besides the obvious, breathing and a heart beat) could be very different from me. What you find joy in is something you can hold as a sacred thing.. I dont see joy as a state of happiness, but what well you get joy from, pleasure & passion.. for me its video gaming, discussion, being around people I like (sometimes even those I dislike), I like walking and running, swimming, yoga, I love listening to lectures from professors.. no one can take these joys away from me except myself, if I allow.

    I hope that makes sense.

    You are an important person, you affected me.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YES it would make a big difference.
    17 so much ahead of you just haven't been able to see that yet.
    My brother killed himself and he might as well killed me too
    so much help out there for you at your age get it now okay don't wait don't suffer when you don't have to.
    I hope you can truly see how you life ending it would affect so many
     
  4. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    Now I read you, yes it would.
     
  5. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    For your loved ones, yes, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Very big difference.
     
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