Here and especially to my parents and physologist, I haven't told them exactly what makes me depressed and suicidal and also on these forums. I know I should not hide it, but my problems seem so embrassing, that I can't fix them, its too late. Last time I visited my phychologist, I sugessted that I write out to him my thoughts and feelings as I've made virtually no progress in the visits I've paid him. I'm visiting him again this Friday. Damn it, my parents and everyone else thinks I'm happy, normal, they have no idea how inferior I am to everyone, how much of a loser I am. I can't even write out here that bothers me. Also, I tend to write a lot and I'm afraid you guys wouldn't have the time and patience to read through all of it. Sigh..............and I'm ignored here as well, I'm so alone, I am alone.