if i did it, i wouldn't
feel anything
but theoretically speaking, yes, if for nothing else than because they'd ('they' being, i guess, my mother) have to deal with covering up my suicide (else some horribly tiring stigma would ensue), taking care of shit, answering people when they go 'how's your daughter?'
i don't care that they and the abuse may have contributed to my feelings/facilitated some taxing mental health issues. that's bullshit. i'm in this mess all my own as a result of my own
besides, not sure at all how my sister would deal. that's about 90% of what keeps me here (10 parts cowardice)
i'm selfish but i'm not
that selfish