Would you hate me....?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by non-existent, Nov 12, 2010.

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  1. non-existent

    non-existent Active Member

    If I said I was physically disabled you probably say you wouldn't hate me for it.

    Probably you wouldn't even hate me for HIV or some other "bad reputation" disease, right (I don't want do discriminate against people who have it)?

    But if I told you I was chemically sensitive? Would you even know what it is? Would you hate me then? Would you despise me and tell me I was simulating? I just didn't want to work or had a phobia or whatever?

    Usually I don't even dare to say what kind of illness I have.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i do not judge i am in no position to do so i would not hate anyone who is suffering so.
  3. japanlover

    japanlover Well-Known Member

    Meh. probobly not. I hate the human race, not illnesses, diseases, or anything else to that effect. ;)
  4. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    My theory is that anyone who hates the human race also hates themselves. And it's hard to determine where the hate started and where it ends.

    Chicken/Egg. And hate, is it really worth it? I think hate will stay with us just like war does. In measurable quantities.
  5. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    i can understand people whod get irritated bc they dont know anything about it so they think your pretending. i had to google it myself. id never hate anyone unless they do something directly to me or someone close to me. fuck those people. those who judge me can kiss my ass :D
  6. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I only hate myself, really... that is the only hate I have.
  7. non-existent

    non-existent Active Member

    Thank you for the replies....

    eva3, probably the first thing google found was the very stupid wikipedia article...

    I'm not stupid enough to want to live. I can't think why my parents want me to live, okay, I'm physically much better but I don't understand it. They also don't want to replace me by an adopted better daughter, so I won't talk about that to them.

    I should just shut up and die. The only problem I have is I'm not allowed to do so.
  8. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    Several years ago I was talking to a guy in the chemist and he was telling me his sister was 'chemically sensitive'. I found his attitude to his sisters condition to be dismissive and he thought she was faking. I never met his sister so I couldn't comment on that, he did however summarise the illness as being 'allergic to modern life'. Thats as much as I know, and I wouldn't hate you if I met you because of this.
  9. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    you got me thats exactly what i did :tongue:
  10. ali-wali

    ali-wali Well-Known Member

    Nopeyy, I don't hate you, and I have some idea of what the illness is, but not much.
  11. non-existent

    non-existent Active Member


    Well I couldn't say something about the sister of this man. Maybe he was a nasty person angry because she asked him for help or something like that, or she was really faking, we can't know. With other people I've seen both of those cases, people who were ill and others believed them or not believed them, and people who were obviously faking.

    "allergic to modern life"... I wouldn't say it is like that. Being chemically sensitive does not mean you are anti-technology or something like that, people are ill and would like to be just fine. But I've once talked to a woman (who I think was really ill) and she told me I shouldn't say I was ill for this should be the natural situation. Well I did never talk to her again. Maybe, living with her husband at the countryside, she could think it was natural.

    Problem is proper diagnosis is getting easier atm (in my case, all markers found in studies are found) but some years ago you could tell you were chemically sensitive whether you were or not cause there were hardly any tests then. I wouldn't say there were no people who had an anxiety disorder or something like that and just say or just think they were chemically sensitive, but usually this is not the case. People are often told they were faking to avoid costs in the health system (in my country, the employer pays for someone who turned ill cause of working in the employers company, and this is often the case - so the reason is the employers don't want to pay and have lots of influence, even if false diagnoses lead too much higher costs for the state health system).

    When I got ill I was 9 or 10 years old, my parents brought me to hospital several times for the symptoms, and no I didn't know what kind of illness I had, neither did my parents do, and we had never heard of it. I was diagnosed at the age of 12, for I told our doctor (who luckily was a nice person) when my symptoms did occur and when go away. Of course we did a lot of tests.

    When I was younger I would have liked to be fine again to be able to become a physicist - that really was my childhood dream. Well, I (18 by now) will become an informatician.

    Today I don't care about future for after the things happened in the last years, there is no future anymore. It does not care if I am ill or not. I could die at this second. But this has nothing to do with chemical sensitivity. Okay, maybe doing homeschooling and having no one else around complicated things, but many people do homeschooling, so... My parents did always care for me very well especially my mother, for she understands cause she also has many allergies and so on (this is why I did never have problems in our flat and usually was fine here, for there have hardly ever been chemicals here so she was well, I was fine when I was a little girl but turned ill after an accident with very poisonous mold so it wasn't even a chemical problem at the first moment but rather the problem of a building having been closed for mold and sealed 30 years before I accidentally opened it, still I believe there's a genetic factor).

    Usually, when I tell people (on the internet, so it does not mean any kind of effort for them) I was ill they say it didn't matter. When I then tell them I was chemically sensitive, and I also briefly tell them about my story, they either tell me I should see a psychologist or it didn't matter and then don't talk to me anymore. Or, my best friend, pretend it was not there.

    I know. All I should do is die, nothing else. Throw everything away that reminds of me, and just go and die. The strange thing is my parents don't want me to do so. But such a worthless thing shouldn't be in the world. This hasn't got to do with my illness but with something very much different....Still, I can't do it...
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2010
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