Would you really do that to your friends/family?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by WhyMeWhy, Dec 24, 2007.

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  1. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    OK, most everyone here is thinkin of suicide from time to time. Some even ponder it seriously. Sure I think about constantly, butthen I think of the people I would leave behind. They'd be crushed, hurt, etc. Alot of people depend on me for support, and as unpleasant as life is, I simply must be there for them. So let me ask you this:

    Do you really want to hurt others like that by commiting the act and actually succeeding? :blink:
  2. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    i dont like hurting anyone and i know if i did i could nv forgive myself..
  3. My suicide would be good for everyone.
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm hurting them by staying and hurting them by going. Either way I'm hurting them. But when I go, I end atleast one person's hurt.
  5. Fire

    Fire Member

    I'd might be gone already if I wasn't so conscientious about the fact that members of my family would be devastated.

    I actually took a class recently which focused some class-time, reading material, and a paper on survivor-victims of suicide. (Survivor-victims being those who are left behind when their loved one completes a suicide.)

    Truly, surviving a loved-one's suicide is one of the most horrible things any human-being can go through psychologically. There are unanswered questions, feelings of guilt, depression, a greater chance of suicide for the survivor, and much more. People are left in a hellish state that they may never get over for a lifetime, learning to simply live with such agonizing loss. Sometimes this leads to alcoholism, personality change, or a loss of ability to function whatsoever... Sometimes, other members of the family take their own lives too; it's far more likely once one person in a family has "completed."

    I just can't imagine leaving the people I love in such a wounded state that may never heal-- especially my mother, who has done so much for me despite being poor.

    So, no, I would not do that to my friends and family. But sometimes, as depression goes, they aren't the first people I think of. (A good reason for a self-initiated "waiting period" during times of despair...)

    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 24, 2007
  6. glass_samurai

    glass_samurai Member

    I feel the same as fire, and having lost someone close to suicide was the single most devastating event I've been through. After being "on the other side", I thought never again could I do this to anyone, after experiencing this pain first hand. It never goes away. You'd think the pain would fade...hell I wish. I don't think it'll ever leave me until I die. Ironically, when I lost this person, I thought I would be the one who would go, as I was suicidal too. After that I could never consider suicide again...it was over...I had become totally immune to this idea. But these days I'm dealing with thoughts of suicide again, I've reached that point where I find more hope in death than in life itself. But as for actually committing suicide, it's very different from thinking about it. And frankly I don't think I could ever try again after what happened.
  7. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    I've concluded pretty much what you have, namely that as worthless and useless a human being as I am those who love me would still be worse off if I committed suicide than not. Though I do not have a lot of people depending upon me, only two (spouse and child) and arguably my elderly parents, who though they don't depend upon me would be crushed and just wouldn't be able to understand.

    Were they all removed from the scene? I'd personally not feel the slightest guilt at then removing myself. In fact, I'm sure I'd feel only a sense of relief. But that under present circumstances is a hypothetical on a level winning the lottery.

    This is an unwarranted assumption. Not everybody is in your (or for that matter, my) position. Your case and my case are NOT able to be automatically universalized to everyone at this site. Some people have others who might "depend" upon them who are not worthy of their concern, as with children treated horribly by parents, some people simply may not have any others.

    I do think we owe a duty to those who have either shown themselves worthy of it, which in my case means my parents and my wife, or are here due to your direct actions, by which of course I mean my son. But how I often wish I were not bound by these constraints. I'm simply not very good at this business of living, and each day some more and more ground down. Ah, well. I suppose that's another thread for another time.
  8. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    my brother recently died, my parents were totally devastated and while i was comforting them all i could think about was that i couldn't put them thru this for the 3rd time.

    to anyone who is thinking about it, i say think twice please, even if you think they don't care they do, there are more ppl who care about you than you think.
  9. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I had my family in the hospital being told that I was likely to die after I took an overdose two weeks ago. Has it made me want to live? No, it hasn't. As bad as suicide may seem, people would get over it. I think that it'd be worse for people if I lived, rather than died. Suicide is a beautiful thing.
  10. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    Well, you're still here, aren't you? So on some level or other you're hesitating.

    Even post-OD when your bowels let go and you fill your undies with shit? Odd view of 'beauty' in my book. I doubt the person making such a discovery would be thinking of beauty, more like gagging on the smell. Not sure how long it takes for a corpse to start rotting, but that excrement the corpse would be lying in would probably be enough to chase away any thoughts of beautiful things.

    Anyway, and amusingly, this reminds me of a story. Supposedly in Ancient Greece a king was confronted w/an epidemic of suicides among women. He decreed that from then on all suicides would have their naked corpses dragged through the town square, then propped up for everyone to look at for a few days. The way the story goes, that did the trick and the epidemic came to a screeching halt. Personally if I decide to go that route such a restriction would mean nothing to me, but then I labor under no rubbish of suicide as any kind of "beautiful thing."
  11. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    It's not beautiful at all. At my worst my girlfriend used to tell me about what people who hanged themselves looked like and was very brutal about it. I was already at that time looking up pictures and getting desperate but- generally speaking, if I hadn't met her at 17, yes I'd have easily killed myself- I was walking a fine line between self destruction and death- walking on the yellow line on the train platforms and thinking- what if I jumped right now. Walking into the middle of the roads just hoping I'd get knocked down. At that point I had nothing to live for and I couldn't have cared less about my abusive family and had no friends at all. I was slightly worried about my mother's reaction finding me dead but I could be overdosing every night and she didn't know..although she was always badgering me if I had been taking drugs and "I'm going to lock you up one day in the mental hospital" because I looked so ill with anorexia as that was the only thing she was concerned about. Not everyone has people who love them or people whom they love and even then when you're in a lot of pain, and isolated and haunted by memories, sometimes that love is just not enough. Right now though, I'm not suicidal and my life is changing.
  12. Shogun

    Shogun Well-Known Member

    I don't really have anyone to hurt...
  13. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    exactly. surely friends should support that. if i end it all, the suffering will be over so why cant they feel happy for me because of that?
    i cant do anything because i know it would upset them but it shouldnt really, im not worth getting upset about.
  14. Anonymous2

    Anonymous2 Well-Known Member

    The selfishness of suicide is very subjective. For example…..

    If a good mother or father of a young child commit suicide, it would be extremely selfish because their innocent, dependent children would have to go on without their parent’s unconditional love and support.

    If a complete loner, who has no friends or family, commit suicide, it would not be selfish because he/she would not be leaving anyone behind.

    If a violent rapist or extremely abusive father/husband commit suicide, it would be altruistic because his death would end the suffering of many.

    Truthfully, the effects of suicide run on a continuum – Ranging from extremely selfish to very altruistic. I think it is naïve for people to assume that suicide is always selfish.

    Personally, I know my suicide would be somewhat selfish. My mother and father care about me, and they might feel unjustified but genuine guilt over my death.
  15. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    The beautiful comment was idiotic, i'll admit that.
  16. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    Gmork, aren't you pro suicide?.. :wink:
  17. A_New_Man

    A_New_Man Well-Known Member

    I feel like it's selfish of my friends and family to make me go through this pain when I can't live with it.

    Besides, I don't think anyone would miss me if I were gone...
  18. ithuriel

    ithuriel Well-Known Member

    to be honest i do not know exactly , i feel like i'm walking a line at present between different feelings and in my quieter moments i find myself weighing up the hurt i will cause and the hurt i feel.
    normally i can get by but these last three to four days feel like weeks , though i do feel a lot better today , like my sense of balance is trying to put itself right.
    i'm just taking it a day at a time at present , its the best i can do.
  19. TheLonelyAloePlant

    TheLonelyAloePlant Well-Known Member

    I think some people want others to hurt because they feel that they aren't appreciated. :huh:
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