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Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by White Dove, Sep 11, 2007.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Well let me sum this up.

    1- I gfo camping with every intention of killing myself , only to fail again but this time it was because my own family showed up and woke me up,etc

    2 - i come back home tonight to get online here and apologize because i was away in nature and had to have some time to think , some time to myself, some time to be with just me and God and then come online here and get told now that i am annoying???


    uncertain- because it appears to me that others are upset with me because i did not die this past week????

    it is like i cant die soon enough for them.... Well you all are going to get your wish... I am dying of cancer yet it is not fast enough for you all here.. I cant come here and try to help others cause i get told i am using , man already told that to me tonight again and even told i am annoying..

    Well that hurts.. i mean it really does hurt me to my heart and emotional being.. I did not need to hear that.. i thought others would be glad to hear that i did not succeed into taking my life not that they would be mad at me...

    Gosh you want me dead really that badly???? My death cant come soon enough or quick enough for you...

    I only wanted to try and help others cause i had found some peace when i was in the nature but even now i am not even good enough to even help and i am just so hurt right now.. you all really wanted me dead and my death cant come quick enough for you all now can it???

    I dont need this hurt... my Gosh i really dont need it.. if i knew i would come online here and end up crying again tonight i would have never come back online here at all.. yes i am a cry baby.. i know go ahead and say it.. but that hurts me, really hurts me emotionally , telling me i am using... you dont know me... you dont know my heart and you sure as heck dont know the pain im in FAL1... and telling me im annoying... if i am that annoying then why not block my stuff then you would not have to read it... no one has forced you to read them and there is a button you can click to not read them so why hurt me like that??

    I have feelings you know??? i am not a person without any feelings.. i have feelings and i have hurt that goes deeper then anything you could ever imagine.. why do me that way?? why hurt me? when i was feeling pretty dang good and now i am all terry eyed and crying.... you hurt me by saying those words.. you really hurt me...

    so why am i posting in the uncertain forum?

    well because i am uncertain that i am welcome here, uncertain that i am loved here, uncertain that i can do any good here or even help anyone here, uncertain because i am begining to think my death cant come fast or quick enough for any of you...

    it would have been better if i had died...
  2. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    You are loved here. I was so so so worried about you. My support is gone now... I'm shaking...

    Honey I love you and I'm here for you. Please understand that. I know that someday you will die of cancer... but don't take your own life. You're here for a reason.

    i love you and hang on. :hug:
  3. Sorrow

    Sorrow Well-Known Member

    White Dove,
    I was so worried about you! People were asking about you. We do care about you and want you here. Where ever you go there is going to be someone who is unkind, but I believe that most people here are good and do care. I'm sorry that when you came back here that people hurt you, but lots of people are glad that you are back.
  4. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I care sweetie. Tell that other person to fuck off.
  5. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    thanks you two :hug:

    I did however get a nasty pm from someone but thats okay.. everytime they send something that hurts me or puts a trigger upon me then of course i am going to report it..

    This is a support site... not a site to be mean and cruel because we all are hurting... and yes i know im not the only one hurting, why the heck dso you think i am here myself for??? because deep down i feel that if i can help someone ease their pain then it may help ease my pain..

    And to the person who sent the pm..


    If you dont like hearing what i write then DONT READ THEM... no one has forced you to read what i write... you can easily block it cause i have.. you dont have to be so mean and send nasty pms to cause more hurt...

    If you send a nasty pm to me it is going to be reported to the Admin , especially if it causes hurt upon my heart or is a trigger to me.. i am here to stop the pain and not add more to it.. if you write something that adds to my hurt and heartache i am going to report it. this is to protect me and my heart from getting hurt.. if you dont like it then you got the same pants to get glad in.. and if i see you hurting someone else i will report that also cause i believe a person who is hurting aslready does not need to add more hurt to them.. they just dont need that hurt...

    You say i am using people to gain sympony, sorry, etc..

    well that is not true.. i do not use anyone.. i do not make anyone love me..etc..

    So stop sending me nasty pms or be faced to talk with an admin. when you do cause if it hurts me i WILL REPORT IT and/or Forward it to them cause i am not going to allow any more hurt upon my heart.. All my life i have let people run over me and i have let people hurt me, well not anymore.. you hurt me it will be reported.. this is a support site not a site to just hurt others intentionally.. This time i am sticking up for myself and protecting my heart and my emotional well being...

    Sorry if you dont like that but i am not letting myself get hurt anymore from others who got nothing better to do then to come on here pretending to be a supportive person while at the same time sending hurtfull and upsetting pms to members.. kind of makes me wonder how many more people get hurt by some pms and just do not report it???
  6. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    good for you, it is NICE to see you be assertive!! more power to you :wtg:
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